Addictions
by Iffy Jr
Summary: Thor/Loki AU in Loki's 1st person PoV. "He smokes, he cuts, and he sells himself for a place to stay. And honestly, he enjoys the men he gets. But then he finds Thor… Big, gentle blonde with a cigarette. He couldn't resist. Thor just wants Loki to have a place to stay at first, but Loki never did like sleeping alone. Oh well, he's not addicted yet. But maybe he is..." Song-inspired
1. Chapter 1

A/N's: A Thorki story that's so AU it's pathetic. Loki lived in the orphanage until he ran away at 14, and now he's a rent-boy, but when he doesn't have a place to go for the night he stays over at Amora's, who dating Skurge. Lo' has a cigarette addiction, and one day he's just sitting there after he runs out and Thor walks past with a brand new box. So he can't help but call to him, right? So then this big relationship goes on and there's some angst and oh gosh I don't even know what I was _ON_ when I decided how Loki finds out about his family okay so like just go with it. I think I did pretty good though, no matter how many weird drugs. It's probably the paint because my job is to paint so yeah it's probably just that I'm getting high off paints fumes… Okay anyway.

This song was inspired by the song Come Around Soon by Sara Bareilles, but it's not one of my song-themed fics. Just a bunch of lines and a specific picture (to which I won't be linking because it's just way to much work to get around this websites blockage shit). So lines that I stole from the song I'm going to bold to make it really obvious. Oh and some lines I altered by like a couple words so it would make sense to the fic.

Thor's last name is Asgard, because we meet his dad and Odin Odinson would just be awkward. And of course Jane is Thor's jealous ex-girlfriend, so I sort of make her a bitch… Yup.

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**Summary**: Thor/Loki. AU in Loki's 1st person PoV. "He smokes, he cuts, and he sells himself for a place to stay. And honestly, he enjoys the men he gets. But then he finds Thor… Big, gentle blonde with a cigarette. He couldn't resist. Thor just wants Loki to have a place to stay at first, but Loki never did like sleeping alone. Oh well, he's not addicted yet. But maybe he is..." Song-inspired. COMPLETE.

**Pairing**: (Main) Thor/Loki; (Minor) Skurge/Amora, Odin/Frigga, Hogun/Sif  
**Status**: Complete  
**Rating**: M  
**Warning**: m/m pairing; some smut; rent-boy stuff; self harm; language

P.S. I'm kinda lazy so even though it's a rent-boy kind of thing I only wrote like one sex scene. Like there are 3 or 4 or something and I only wrote like the very last one. I do write some heavy making out and shit but yeah like I said, lazy :P Anyway! Enjoy ^-^ Or try to. Like this is my own fic and I don't even like it and I started it, like, back at the beginning of summer or something. So it's super old but I just didn't get around to editing it until now. Um. Yeah! Yeah okay have fun tell me what you think blah blah blah.  
P.P.S I'm not just kind of lazy I'm very lazy so if there are any errors I apologize because nobody else reads through my stories before I post them so anything I miss...well, yeah.

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**Addictions**

[Alternative titles: _Cigarette_; _I'm Not Addicted Yet_]

**Chapter One**

I wander randomly down the streets for a place to sit, because where else is there to go? My thin green hoodie has its sleeves pushed up to reveal scars, and the hood's barely set atop of my raven black hair. I'm out of cigarettes, and that would bother me more if it weren't for the fact that I also ran out of fluid in my lighter so I couldn't light it anyway.

I walk with my hands in the pockets of my tight, light brown jeans, the empty box of cancers sticks playing between my fingers. Ravens and pigeons are scattered around the sidewalk, getting under my short suede boots. My head falls back every once in a while to look up at the sky. **Oh, it looks like rain tonight, but thank god, because a clear sky just wouldn't feel right.**

There's one of those wall heaters just a few feet inside of an alley, most likely pulling cool air into whatever building it's attached to. The cloudy night sky causes the street lamps to shimmer off of my dark green nail polish. I walk and sit on it, letting my legs hang over to warm up. It's October, after all. I guess I should have dressed warmer—or at least roll my sleeves down. My feet tap mindlessly into the air.

People pass and don't notice me. Women back from clubs, men walking home after spending too much time at the office. But there's one man that catches my attention fast enough: long blonde hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, a thin blonde beard just along his chin and up, and a thick red sweatshirt with a lightning rod on its back. The most important part, though, is the new cigarette he's pulling out of a brand new box.

"'Scuse me," I call before I can stop myself. But **I could use another cigarette**, so I wouldn't have held back anyway.

He pauses and looks around for all of a second before he spots me. I'm not menacing at all, especially not two feet down the alley. The wall opposite from me doesn't even run the same length as the one the heater's attached to, so we're basically out in the open still. He points to himself as if to ask, _me?_

I nod, a ghost of a smile playing on my lips. I would push down my sleeves to hide the scars, but I doubt he'll look. Usually only women really notice them. Besides, the heater is wafting up to my arms, and they're cold too. "Could I possibly trouble you for one of those?" I ask shyly. I don't really like people, let alone talking to them. "I just finished mine off." I pull the empty box out, flipping it between my fingers a few times before setting it down beside me.

He smiles, putting his unlit cigarette into his mouth as he walks over to me. He has a second one out by the time he's over to me, standing right in front of me—too close, honestly, but I'll do anything for another cancer stick. I can usually read people pretty well, but he's hard. I'm not sure if he likes me or if he just has no sense of personal boundaries.

I lick my lips and open my mouth, and he sets the cigarette in my mouth without a second thought, pulling out the lighter. He has the clearest blue eyes I've ever seen in my life, and I can't help but stare as he leans in close enough to me to light both of our cigs at the same time.

"Cold?" he asks, eyes glancing down at the heater that I'm sitting on before darting back to my own emerald green eyes.

His voice hits me like a drag too deep. **He sounds like thunder, though he's barely spoken. **I nod.

He looks me over, pulling out his cig to puff a cloud of smoke to his right, my left. "Didn't pack heavy enough for your run away from home?"

I frown, puffing out my own cloud. "I'm twenty-one."

He cocks an eyebrow, taking another drag. "Oh?"

"Yes, and I'm turning twenty-two in about a month. I'm just…small."

He lowers the eyebrow. "Big brothers got all the good genes?"

I shrug, breathing in the smoke like a drug. **But don't worry, I'm not addicted yet**. "I wouldn't know. I've never met my family. Grew up in the orphanage a few blocks down, ran away from _that_ when I was fourteen. Nobody wants me, not even the McDonald's 'round the corner. I need experience to get a job, but I need a job for experience."

The man's eyes turn sad. "You've been on your own all this time?"

No. No, this is not what I wanted. So I shake my head no. "I have somewhere I can go. I have some friends around here."

But he picks out exactly what I mean. "You shouldn't do that to yourself."

"It's that or the streets even worse," I say, taking another drag. What is it about this guy that makes me talk? I don't like talking. I just like places to stay…people to sleep with. Talking's not my thing.

He reaches up a large, calloused hand to finger the fabric at my shoulder. "How do you get things if you don't have any money?"

"Homeless donations." I blow out smoke, letting it out in a perfect ring. Maybe I am addicted. "Or my friends. They like me. That's where I got my last box of cigarettes; the last place I went to. He likes me the best."

His eyes drop to the underside of my arms, and I inconspicuously turn them over in hopes he doesn't see them in time. "Do they all like those, too?"

Yeah, he saw them.

I shrug, taking another drag. "They don't mention them and I don't ask if they do."

"Do you disinfect them?"

"I never have before and I've been fine, so it's not entirely my idea to start now."

I didn't notice that he was still holding the lighter until he pockets it. "Come on," he says with a warm smile. "It's late, it's going to rain, and you know you don't want to go home to those friends of yours. I have an extra room at my place. Or a couch. Or a floor. Wherever you're most comfortable."

I frown. I don't usually make it a practice of going home with _total_ strangers. He did give me a cigarette, though… "I don't know you," I say quietly.

"No, but I'll bet that you don't know those other guys, either."

I duck my head, blowing out more smoke. "The guy's I go with I've talked to multiple times at bars, or one of those guys relays me to one of _their_ friends. I also have a mutual friend who calls around for me. So I know them enough that they're not going to lock me in their basement."

"It's your choice."

I look up at him, taking in another drag, my chest expanding far too deeply. He's closer now, his thighs pressed against the heater between my spread legs. There are still a few inches between us, though, because it sticks out a long ways. "What's your name?" I ask.

"Thor Asgard," he says, holding a hand out to me to shake it.

"Loki something," I say without taking it, sliding forward (to hop off of the heater). He steps slowly out of the way, his hand brushing against my side to sort of help me down.

"Well I'm glad you ran out of cigarettes, Loki," he says, dropping his hand to his side. "I take it you're okay with walking another couple of blocks?"

"I've just been walking all day anyway," I say, following after him, staying close to his side, but not close enough to touch. He's warm, though, and the absence of the heater on my legs makes me shiver once.

"Still cold?" he asks, blowing out a ring not unlike mine.

"I like the cold," I lie. "Or, I'm used to it enough."

The man—Thor—smiles, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Liar."

I lean against him, annoyed by all of my lies that he's seeing through. There's something about him, like he's had to put up with these things before. Liars. Tricksters. Manipulators. Must've had one hell of a family for that. Or is that normal? I don't know…I've never had one.

"Is your place an apartment or an actual house?" I ask quietly after a block of silence, soaking in his warmth. I don't care about the looks we're getting, and Thor doesn't seem too, either. Most people around here know who I am, which is part of the reason that I don't get hired anywhere. No one wants a homeless teenager with rent-boy tendencies working for them.

"Condo," Thor says, smiling widely as he ignores the cold weather. Winter's coming early this year. "Pretty good sized, too. Two bedrooms, three bathrooms, and an open kitchen/dining room/living room sort of get-up. Plenty of closet space."

"Yeah, because I need _lots_ of that."

He smiles down at me. "Who knows, maybe your friends will send you a new pair of stylish little boots in the mail." Even before I react, something about what he says causes himself to frown. "You don't even have a bag? No extra shirt or anything?"

I shrug. "I keep anything I get at the place of my mutual friend. She keeps a space open in his closet. I usually just sleep on her couch, but I try not to. She and her boyfriend can get kind of loud."

Thor tilts his head slightly. "A woman? I expected another man. Who are they? I might know them, if they're not in business society. I'm a construction worker, though mostly I just deal with carpentry things."

"Amora and Skurge are their names," I say. "Amora works in a little gypsy styled bar a few roads to the left, and Skurge—"

"No, I know Skurge! He does the actual tree chopping where we get a lot of our lumber from. The company I work for, I mean. So, yes, I've seen Amora around as well. Didn't know they were dating, though, or what her name was. She's…very blonde, and I don't think I've ever seen her without something green on."

I burst into laughter. I can't help it. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I say, trying not to lean all of my weight against him as I try to breathe. "That's her real hair color, and—and—she can't stand it when people question her color scheming. Her favorite color is green, and she tends to go all out with her favorites. You should see her house. Thankfully Skurge has the decency to throw in some blue and brown."

Thor looks up from Loki, chuckling lightly. "It doesn't all seem that bad now that I know the people," he says, tapping the end of his cigarette so it crumbles a bit at the used end. I do the same, just because I need to. "Staying over with random men, I mean. Do they…well, I take it they don't all have extra rooms."

Loki ducks his head, pulling out his cigarette to blow down at his shoes. "Yeah, are you really having me sleep in the extra room? I mean, we're kind of close right now…"

The hand around Loki's waist pats him lightly before turning them both to the right to a set of condos. "I'm sure I look older, but I'm only actually twenty-five, you know."

I look up at him. "Really? You look…well, the beard, the long hair, and _damn_, that whole building shit must really give you a work out."

He grins, fishing out a key. "Yes, I really was going to put you into the extra room. If you're cold, though, I don't think I take up the entire bed."

"What you're saying though, is, that you intend for me to keep my innocence under your watch?"

"If I can. Whatever you have left."

I snort. "Hate to tell you, but I've been with all sorts. You're really the only one missing out here."

He pushes open the door, holding it open as he steers both of them inside. "I'm not sure if I should be taking that as an invitation," he says cautiously, pushing floor 2 of the elevator, "or reprimanding you on the fact that you should spend your nights alone when you can."

"This may come as a surprise to you, but I somewhat like sharing a bed with someone. Usually people who don't really talk, but most of those people don't give me cigarettes, so…well, exceptions, exceptions."

We walk out of the elevator, turning left to the one door in that direction. "Really?" he asks. There's a cheerful welcome mat on the floor, and Thor flicks his key ring around until he has whatever key unlocks the condo. "You didn't really strike me as that type of someone. Or someone who'd do anything at all for cancer in a stick."

I shrug, taking the last drag of the cig in my mouth. "It happens when you start at sixteen."

Thor shrugs back. "It's worse at fifteen." He lets go of my waist and walks inside, leaving me at the threshold, looking after him with a small smile. Alright, more respect for the guy. Cool.

I follow him in, taking in the place that he described. It's clean and decorated in lots of red and silver, and Thor is whistling away to a song that Loki can only place is sung by the Beatles as he makes some coffee. "This is it," he says, gesturing around him without turning around. "The computer is down the hall to the right if you actually have an email or a Facebook to check, or if you'd just rather hang out with the TV, the best screen is in my bedroom. You can just bunker down on my bed for now, if you'd like."

"Could I maybe just…walk around a little?" I ask.

He looks over his shoulder with a smile. "Feel free. The extra room is down the hall to the right, basically as far back as it gets."

I nod, following those directions. It's a nice room, of course. There's a single bed, a very large nightstand, a desk in the corner, and yes, a closet with ample space for the things that I don't have. So I pull off my suede boots and striped socks and set them beside the bed before I shrug off my sweatshirt and hang it awkwardly by itself in the closet to show off my solid black t-shirt that's also way too thin to be wearing in this early winter weather.

"Do you take anything in your coffee?"

I turn around from sitting on the bed to see Thor standing in the doorway, arms crossed as he leans against the doorframe. "No," I say. "I don't even usually drink coffee. Got to keep up my figure and all that. Nobody wants an overweight rent-boy in their bed."

Thor frowns. "Where do you keep all your razors?"

"Sweatshirt pocket," I say. "If you take them I'll leave, and probably knick that cup of coffee you're making me as well. So don't push it."

"Whoa, whoa, that wasn't my plan, don't hurt yourself. I was just wondering. Do you want to clean them, maybe? Disinfectants and soap and water and whatnot."

I stare at him. The last person who actually talked about my scars ragged on me for as long as it took me to walk out. "Yes please," I say, though it comes out a lot quieter than I intended.

"How about that coffee first, though. No offence, but you look like you could use some sleep. Maybe water instead?"

I smirk, going over to fish the three razors out of his sweatshirt pocket. "No thank you. I could use some caffeine, I think."

Thor nods, and I follow him back to the kitchen. His coffee looks like it's absolutely loaded with sugar and cream, but mine's as black as it gets. Beautiful stuff. We just stand in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. It isn't until I'm nearly finished with my cup that I see we're standing the exact same way. Right leg crossed over the left leg as it supports the body, left elbow leaning against the counter as the right hand holds the cup we're drinking from.

He notices about then, too, with a pretty big laugh. "That's it," he says, setting his cup in the sink. "I'm your brother, and all of those genes went to me."

I snort. "It would make sense except for the fact that we literally look nothing alike whatsoever. I mean _look at us_. Big, buff, blue-eyed blonde with a beard and about five inches of height compared to…well, me. Short, cast-off, self-harming, black-haired, green-eyed kid who—"

"Loki, Loki, calm down, geez," Thor says, taking my coffee cup out of my hands before I all but crush it with sheer force of anger. "You cut your arms, there's no need to accidentally slice open your hands with one of my good glasses."

That's when I know that I shouldn't be here. Because I don't tell people things like this. I never have.

I stand up abruptly, glad that he already took the cup. "Oh good lord, I need to go," I say, walking back to the bedroom. "I need to go."

"Wait, Loki," Thor protests, following after me back to the bedroom.

"No, no, _no_," I say, waving my arms behind me as I snag my sweatshirt off the hook. "I can't stay here. I won't." I shove my feet into my shoes without tying them up or anything before I walk back out of the bedroom, shoving past Thor. "I talk too much here. I don't like talking." I shrug on my sweatshirt as I walk towards the door in my awkwardly not on shoes. "Not when I'm doing it, and especially not when anybody else is doing it."

Right as I'm about to open the door, Thor speaks again: "You forgot something, Loki."

I stop. My razors. I need those. Yeah, I need those.

I turn around slowly, shuffling awkwardly back into the kitchen. He's holding all three in the palm of his hand, so I hold my hand out to him. "Please give me my razors."

"Only if you stay."

I frown. "I can't."

"No, you _won't_."

"Still correct."

"I will not give them back unless you stay over for the night. Where are you going to go this late at night? I'm sure your friend wouldn't like you barging it after ten in the evening. I certainly wouldn't. I won't talk anymore, I promise. Well, aside from the normal 'sleep well' and 'what do you want for breakfast', but that's it."

I sigh, leaning against the nearest counter as I push the fingers of a hand through my hair. "Nobody's ever made me stay. I don't like it. I'm not even sleeping with you and you want me to stay."

"Loki," Thor says quietly. He steps forward and sets the razors lightly on the table. "I want you to stay with me tonight."

Loki regards him coolly. "_With_ you?"

Thor nods, expression all but masked completely. You know, if it weren't for the fact that his warm _fuck, you're adorable_ smile wasn't showing.

"Well," I say, slowly shrugging off my sweatshirt and turning around to shake off my shoes at the door. "I can't say no to that, now, can I?"

Thor's arms wrap around me from behind, though, which I'm not ready for at all. "But," he whispers, his breath and words washing over the side of my face like thunder rolling over the distant hills. "It's going to be about you."

I frown, turning my neck to face Thor, whose chin is resting on my shoulder. "I've never had sex like that before. I just…well, let's just say that most people don't hold a candle to me when it comes to how hard and fast I'll get you to come." I smirk.

He smirks back. "Remember when you said I'm the only one missing out?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I'm not so bad at this whole pleasuring thing myself. I promise you'll be glad you stayed."

I purse my lips slightly, looking away from Thor again. "And you still promise we won't talk anymore?"

"Not unless you want us to."

"No. No, because last time I didn't want to and I did anyway. Stop me if I ever start sounding…" I wrinkle my nose up. "Sentimental."

"Deal."

I spin around in his arms, my hands gripping onto his wrists to slide them down just until they're resting against my ass. "Until we get to the bed, though," I say, pushing up on my tiptoes so that our lips are _just_ touching. "You're mine." I kiss him softly, because he just seems the big teddy bear type of guy that would rather take it slower than faster—at least, right at first.

So, with his hands still gripping onto my ass, I snake my own hands slowly up his solid white t-shirt, my fingers playing over his nipples. He breathes heavier into my mouth, grinding his erection into my stomach (since he's so much taller than me). Okay, not slow at first. Good. I like going fast better anyway.

Surprisingly, I'm able to push him back to the living room couch, pushing him onto it before grinning down at his surprised, dark-with-lust filled eyes. I sink down to straddle his waist, grinding myself against his tented jeans. He grips onto the front of my shirt and pulls me down for a kiss, delving his tongue into my mouth. Alright, alright, a fight for dominance, I can do that.

My hands go back into his shirt, pushing it up so that is arms are tangled for a moment above his head. And within that small window of opportunity, I do all of three things: swirl my hips over his groin, pinch lightly against his nipples, and suck heavily at the skin of his bearded neck. He moans, jaw going slack as his efforts against the shirt slow.

He's a generally hairy man, which is just fine with me. I just hope he's not into the same body type, because the most hair _I_ have is on my head, and that's basically as far as it goes.

Thor does get his arms free and his shirt on the ground eventually, though, and a hand manages to get between my dry thrusts to grip against my own erection.

I moan against his neck, because I just can't help it, and he breathes out a laugh.

"Fine," I growl, leaning up. I'm smiling, though. "I'm all yours."

He leans up and buries his face in my shirt for a moment (smelling me, I think) before he looks up at me with a dreamy smile. Back to teddy bears, maybe? But no. He all but leaps up from the couch with me still in his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist.

I give the tiniest of shrieks at first, simply because I'm not ready for the action, but when I see Thor's smug grin I just can't help but to kiss it off. So I use both hands to pull out his ponytail and toss the hair tie on the kitchen counter as we pass it by, and then I tangle one hand into the locks of hair on his head as the other skates around through the fuzz of his beard, each of us tongue-fucking like it's nobody's business.

He crawls onto the bed with my legs still around his waist, pressing me into the soft, warm covers as he arches against me. "No fighting back, now," he whispers huskily, trailing kisses down my chin to my neck to the tip of my shoulder through my t-shirt.

I smirk, releasing my hands from his head and my legs from his waist to drop against the bed. "Whatever you want."

Thor sits back between my legs, pulling me up with him. "Clothes," he says. "Off."

I obey, stripping off my shirts and pants, tossing them to the floor. Thor is obviously a lot more eager for this than I, because he's stripped before I am completely, pushing me back on my back before I get my underwear off.

"Briefs, eh?" he chuckles, biting softly at the skin of my neck. He may be calling the shots here, but I'm not going to give him the time of day with a moan. "Pegged you as more of the whitey-tighty kind of guy."

I breathe a laugh, pushing my two index fingers into said underwear. "And I'm sure you want them _off_, yes?"

"Naturally."

I push them off with both my hands and feet as Thor sucks heavily on my neck, kicking them onto the floor. His hands pull both of mine together and push them above my head. "Keep them there," he breathes. And then those hands start to roam.

And I'm not going to lie, it's one of the best nights I've ever shared.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I wake up tangled in Thor's white sheets so extensively that it literally takes me about twenty seconds to get my legs free. That's odd all in itself, because I usually don't sleep restless in a new place.

Thor isn't in bed, but the sound of something sizzling in the kitchen makes that okay. Not that it wouldn't be okay even if there wasn't said noise. Just because it's Saturday doesn't mean he doesn't have work or something, not to mention I'm used to waking up alone most of the time anyway. Most guys just want a good fuck. Then again, Thor's not most guys, I suppose… He seems to care, after all. Even Amora doesn't care about me _that_ much. Well, okay, she does, but she does it in such a way that it's hard to notice.

I push into a kneeling position facing away from the door, the blanket and sheets pooling up around my waist as my arms reach up above my head. Both of my elbows crack, as do some of my fingers, so I drop my hands back down and let off a good snap-crackle-pop of my neck in both directions.

"Wow," Thor's voice says from behind me.

I turn around, reaching up a hand to push my hair out of my face to see him more clearly as he stands in the doorway. He's wearing yesterday's jeans, and a new pair of boxers is peeking out over the tops. I smile, because I just can't help it.

"What's in the kitchen?" I ask, stretching out my legs underneath the blankets.

"Cupboards, dishes, and a few countertops," Thor says, walking into the room. "Why?"

I roll my eyes heavenward, pulling the blanket up around my shoulders. It's one of the cushier blankets I've had the pleasure of being on, so I just can't help to all but burry myself in them. "You know what I mean."

"Bacon, eggs, and coffee. Normal breakfast foods. Did you sleep well?"

He sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls me in for a kiss before I can answer, which I wholeheartedly return. I wasn't ready for it, simply because most guys expect me out by now (what time is it, anyway?), but haven't I already concluded that Thor's not most guys? So I throw my arms around his shoulders, still holding onto the blanket so that he's buried underneath them with me.

"What time should I be out?" I breathe after a few moments. After we've ended up completely underneath the blankets with my body pressed against his from almost every angle. "I can do the laundry and clean my razors like you want me to, and then I'm sure Amora will be missing me. I'll be out in a few hours so you'll be—"

Thor silences me with a kiss, which I'm not ready for either. Good lord, you'd think I'd be used to everything after surviving my whole life on my own account. "I'm not sure if I want you to go," he breathes, giving me a smile that's both warm and smug at the same time. "I like you—and I do mean _you_. Sharing a bed was just an added bonus."

I cock an eyebrow. "Was? What, you're going to have me stay here and _now_ use the guest room?"

He snorts, hands curving around to grip against my ass, because hey, I'm still naked. "You wish. For now, you're all mine. 'Sides, I'm sure Amora doesn't want you constantly around her place anyway, mooching off of her and Skurge."

I cock an eyebrow. "Oh, and _you_ want me around to mooch?"

He grins. "Well, you _could_ actually do the laundry…"

I laugh. "What, am I wearing a 'Will work for a place to stay' sign? Yes I'll do your laundry. I'll even do the fucking dishes. I just…one thing."

Thor tilts his head against the pillow. "Let me guess. A steady supply of cigarettes?"

I smile, but I don't actually get to reply with my nod because the doorbell dings twice and is swiftly followed by hard, loud knocking.

And that pattern must happen often, because Thor breathes, "Shit," before pushing the blankets off of us as we sit up. "Jane."

I make sure he doesn't see my frown. Most guys don't like it when you show sad hints about leaving. But, as I've already figured out… "Current or ex?" I ask.

Thor snorts unhappily, getting out of the bed after I roll off of him. "_Very_ ex. It's been at least two months since I broke up with her and she never fails to show up at least once every two weeks to try and get us back together. You might want to, um, hide. She's not very nice to people she sees as a _threat_."

I nod, swinging out of the bed as he starts walking towards the door, which is still being knocked upon. I gather up my clothes strewn across the floor and catch a glimpse of Thor hiding my boots and sweatshirt as I head off to the back bedroom to hide myself in the closet. Looks like lots of closet space really is going to come in handy.

I dress silently so that I can listen in on the commotion going on in the rest of the apartment: the door clicks open, and the first words spoken are from a voice that sounds like it should be a lot quieter than the chirpy "Thoooor!" that it utters. "How have you _been_?"

Thor huffs. "Jane, _honestly_. You're not welcome here anymore. You know that."

"Oh, posh, you love me!" Heels click against the wooden and tile floors as the woman walks in, no doubt pushing Thor to the side. For someone so big, he sure lets people guide him around. "Ooh, bacon! Oh, but Thor, you know I don't like eggs…you shouldn't have made so many. And did you put enough coffee in my sugar?" She starts to say something else, but cuts off. "Wait a minute. You didn't know that I was coming. Why _are_ there two cups out?"

Well damn.

"Jane," Thor says in a very calm voice, though it strikes like lightning through my nerves. I really don't want to be in the middle of this. I knew I shouldn't have stayed here. Well, apart from the amazing sex last night, the incredible sleep, and the cigarette I got out of the deal… Hell, of course I want to stay here. Shit. "Get out of my house _right now_. I swear to the gods that I _will_ call the police again.

Instead of a verbal answer, there's more clicking as she walks more through the house. "You have a guest, then?" she asks quietly. "Who is he? Where is he?" Well, at least she knows that I'm a guy…

Thor groans. "He's just a friend, Jane. He needed a place to stay, and I had an extra room."

I'm not stupid. I know how this works. So, silent as a cat I burst out of the closet and mess up the covers as I leap into it so that I'm leaning against the headboard. I'm fiddling with my t-shirt sleeve when the door slams open, revealing a woman not near as dressed up as I thought she'd be. Thor is standing behind her with a very apologetic look on his face.

"And I suppose you're the _friend_?" Jane snaps.

"Me?" I say, tilting my head innocently. "Yes, he did some work for me about a year ago, and I've used the company he works for every since. Brilliant work they do. Who are you?"

She narrows her eyes. Yeah, crazy overprotective bitch alert. "My name is Jane," she growls. "And I'm his _girlfriend_."

Thor groans again. "For the last time, we broke up months ago! I'm _gay_, Jane. You know that."

"No!" she says, whirling at him. "You're just confused. Come on, to the bed, and we'll fix you _right_ up." She pushes against Thor's chest and he stumbles back slightly, a look of pure disgust on his face.

I roll my eyes. "Thor, would you kill me if I—"

"No," he says. "_Please_."

So I swing out of the bed and walk over to them, putting myself between Thor and Jane. "Hi, yeah, friend of your _ex_ over here. Before you get all willy nilly in the bedroom, I want you to see something."

She fumes. "Why would I want to see anything from _you_?"

I smirk, stepping around Thor to walk down the hallway, swishing my hair out a bit to level up my own bitch tendencies. "Simple curiosity, really."

She huffs before stomping after me, heels clicking annoyingly against the floor. I lead her to the door, where I swing it open and point to the welcome mat. "See that?" I ask.

"I'm not _blind_," she mutters.

"Of course not. Step outside and read that for me, would you?"

She does, like an idiot, right in front of the mat and right outside of the door. "WELCOME," she reads, and then looks up at me with a glare. "Is _this_ what you wanted to show me? How welcome I am here?"

"Oh no, of course not." I bend down and pick it up. "I am simply showing how _not_ welcome you are." I toss the mat inside. "Have a nice day, bitch." And I slam the door in her face.

There's silence for about three seconds before Jane all but screams, but I'm able to watch her stomp away into the elevator through the peep hole.

"Well then," I say, opening the door back up to put the mat back in place. "That was fun." I close and lock the door. "I've had to do that for many of my friends. Hopefully that won't make it worse."

I turn to see Thor leaning against the wall, arms crossed and an impressed look on his face. "That's what I need around here," he says, throwing his arms open. "A voice of authority."

I smirk, flitting across the space between us and leaping into his arms. Obviously he catches and holds me just fine. He better be able to with muscles like those. He kisses me hard as he walks us back into the kitchen. He sets me down on the edge of the counter, pushing up against the edge just like when I was sitting on the edge of the heater. Now, though, we're actually touching, and the hand on my side isn't just helping me down, and his lips are on mine instead of a cigarette.

"Gods, you are so beautiful," he breathes into my mouth. "Do you want a cigarette after breakfast? I try not to smoke inside."

I grin against his mouth, my fingers stroking down his hair. "Of course. Is everything else ready? I can do the laundry if it's not."

"It's probably burnt actually." He turns around and I look around him to see that, yes, the bacon is quite charred. The eggs are fine, though only because they had been taken out of the pan already. They're probably a little cold now.

I slide off of the counter and watch closely as Thor pulls dishes out of the cupboards, because I'm going to need to know where all of this stuff is if he wants me to make lunch or something. I can, on the other hand, warm up the coffee and eggs without watching to see how it's done just fine. Then we bring everything to the small-ish square table of the dining room, setting up our places across from each other.

"You never told me," Thor says around a mouthful of burnt bacon that I have dubbed still edible and actually rather good. "Did you sleep well?"

"Oh yeah," I say around my eggs. "I wasn't able to answer thanks to that mouth of yours."

We smirk at each other, swallowing our food and taking more bites.

"I slept brilliantly, actually," I say with a smile, holding my hand in front of my mouth so I don't blind him with the half chewed food. "You have one of the softest beds I've ever shared, not to mention warm."

"Glad you liked it. Do you get cold easily?"

"Yes, and probably just because I'm so small—unlike _you_, Mr. Brick Shit-House Asgard. I woke up once in the middle of the night sweating because you were so wrapped around me. It was great."

He grins, taking another bite. "You actually tend to radiate a bit of cold, actually, which I appreciate in the fact that, yes, I am always hot, so I warm you up and you cool me off."

I smile, finishing off my eggs. "Brilliant."

He puts the dishes away while I make my way around to do the laundry, stealing a deep red bathrobe (Amora isn't the only one who likes to dress and decorate in her favorite color, apparently) so I can shove my own clothes in with the come splattered sheet as well.

"Mind if I take a quick shower and use up all of your hot water in the process?"

"No, feel free," Thor says, flitting his hand at me as the other plays around with a very old school flip phone. "I don't have work today so I'll just put new sheets on the bed."

I take a shower as fast as I can, shaving "down there" in a stylish crown, because I just can't stand a fucking forest between my legs. It's bad enough having a snake (not that I'd rather be a woman, but still). I should probably keep to myself that I sometimes get really bored and name my appendages… My penis is Jörmungandr.

When I'm out, I catch sight of my arm in the mirror, and the itch is suddenly there so bad I almost fall over. I sneak out of the bathroom and into the back bedroom, pulling my razors out of my sweatshirt pocket before sneaking back inside.

I stare at the mirror for about a minute before I actually lean against the counter and put the cleanest razor to my skin. I haven't cleaned them yet. I'll do that…eventually.

Unlike a lot of people, I'm not sure if I still cut because I hate everything or of it's simply an addiction now. Because it can be—it is. But now it's just something that I'm used to doing. I don't think I do it anymore just when I'm sad, or cold, or anything. I do it whenever I get the itch to do it. Because I'm happy right now, and most people don't cut up their skin when they're happy.

Contrary to popular belief, some of us don't actually build up much of a pain tolerance for this kind of thing. Maybe it's because I'm so small, but it still hurts every time that I do it. My skin still heats up at the concept and my blood is cold compared to how hot it actually gets.

It's just something that I do, now.

Six cuts later and I wash off the smeared blood with cold water after it clots shut, and then do some silent snooping for the Band Aids. I don't find any, but that's okay, because I find an entire fucking box of gauze wrap. So I use that instead, because it looks cooler anyway. I don't usually bandage them, but Thor seems the type of person who will grab my arms a lot, and I don't want them breaking open again—and I think he'd rather see gauze than the actual scars and whatnot.

So I put the razors away again before going to find Thor. He's out on the balcony, and I just stay in his bathrobe since the washing machine is still going. He has a cig in his hand, and when I open the door he turns and holds the box out to me. "I know you want ooone," he says in a sing-song voice.

I smirk, snatching one out of the box. The lighter is outlined in his back pocket, and I fish it out for a light before pushing it back in, leaning against the railing. Considering that we're only on the second floor we're not actually that high up, but its high enough that there's a bout of chilly October wind. Thor notices, too, because he wraps an arm around my waist and steps over to stand behind me, his arm keeping my stomach warm and his body the entire backside of myself. I smile and blow out a puff of smoke as I lean back against him, and he rests his head lightly against mine. People walk and drive past, going about their daily business. Few look up, and those who do don't give a second glance at the happy gay couple on the balcony. Then again, I'm small enough and my hair is just long enough that at a glance I might just look like a girl. Great.

"About Jane," I say, taking in a drag. "Because if it was long enough you probably want to change out your—"

"Keys and numbers? Yeah, I definitely did that. We were together for about four months altogether, mostly thanks to her. She got keys to pretty much everything back during the first month, though." He shudders slightly. "_Women_. Can't live with 'em, can't kill them off. I may not be sexually attracted to them, but I must admit that they do tend to do a few things about eight million times better than a man."

"Like…?"

"Delicate things. I don't know."

I chuckle. "No, I get what you mean. And then there are things that men do better, like construction work! You know, the whole built with natural muscles thing. Except me."

"Well, whoever your brothers are, I'm sure they'd be happy to lend you some if you ever found them."

I smile, turning my neck to kiss his chin. "Thank you," I whisper. "I mean…well, yeah."

He smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "You're welcome."

A few minutes of silence pass of us just standing there finishing off our cigarettes. That's when the unexpected happens:

"Loki? Hey, Loki!"

I frown, because who on earth could be around to say my name so excited like that? I lean against the railing, scanning the ground below to see—

"Hey, Viktor!" I call down, waving. "Fancy seein' you here!"

"Who's that?" Thor asks.

"The guy who got me those boots of mine."

Viktor's smile is far too bright. "I was just passing by and I saw you up there with the big blonde! He takin' care of you alright?"

I smile back at Thor before calling back, "Yeah, von, it's brilliant. How's the new guy?"

"Even better than yours, I bet! Hey, I just talked to 'Ora this morning before I went out to work. She hasn't heard from you in a couple of days and she seemed kinda worried."

I frown. "Really?" Like I said, she's good at keeping things pretty hidden at the same time that it's out in the open.

"Yeah, she called around a few of your favorite places for you. No wonder she didn't find you if you're all the way out here in the middle of no man's land! I'd give her a ring if I were you."

"Yeah, I will! Nice to see you again, von. The boots are _lovely_."

Viktor von Doom grins broadly. "Thrilled to hear it! See you around, yeah? My couch is always open!"

"Mmhmm, thanks!"

And he's off.

I turn back to Thor, a smile playing on my lips. "I hope, though, that I won't actually have to use his couch anytime soon."

Thor grins, leaning down to kiss me, his tongue drifting around just on the outside. I start to kiss him back more, but the blond pulls away. "You should call Amora first." He fishes his old cell phone out of his pocket. "I don't have a house phone. I didn't really see the need for an extra bill."

I smile, taking another drag of my cigarette (that's basically done with) as I take the phone. "And after I talk to her?"

He smirks. "I'm going to need my bathrobe back."

He goes back inside of the condo to do who knows what as I dial up Amora, hoping that this hunk of technology doesn't break apart in my hands.

"Hello?" her voice replies. Usually she replies to whoever it is who's calling her in a different way depending on whom it is, but she probably doesn't recognize Thor's number.

"'Ora, hey, it's me!"

"Oh, Lo'! I was wondering when you'd need my couch again. I haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Where are you? Do you need anything? A ride or some food or—"

"Amora, Amora, relax, I'm fine." Geez, okay, maybe she's not very good at it. Probably just 'cause I've been gone for a few days. "I'm at a place, all warm and fed and happy where I am."

"Oh, oh, alright. What's his name?"

"You might know him, actually. Or at least Skurge might. Thor Asgard. He works in construction through a different place than 'Urge."

"Oh, yes, I've heard his name before. How convenient. You're probably safe, then. Is he treating you alright?"

"Yeah, he's great. One of the best, in fact. He gave me a cigarette because I ran out, and then he actually just wanted to make sure I had a place to go. You know me, though. Hate sleeping alone."

Amora giggles, because yes, she knows me very well. "Well, call me again if anything goes wrong, of course. Do you think this Asgard character will care if I save his number?"

"It'll be our little secret."

She giggles again. "Do you want to talk to 'Urge about him, maybe?"

"_Actually_, he's waiting for me inside…"

She lets out a whistle. "Then go get him, tiger."

"Thanks, 'Ora. See you later."

"Tootleoo!"

I smirk as I close the phone, grinding my empty cigarette onto the railing (hopefully that's okay…) before flicking it off over the balcony, turning around before it hits the ground to walk back inside.

Thor is already sitting on the bed in his jeans, reading something over. I drop my bathrobe in the middle of the floor, and _that's_ when he notices me, eyebrows shooting up and the corners of his mouth turning up as I crawl up onto the bed towards him.

Because what's better than having the satisfaction of knowing that you turn someone on because of how damned sexy you are? Nothing, that's what.

**XxX**

Altogether, I'm at Thor's for a week. He still has his job, of course, and at those times I wander aimlessly around the condo or just go out to walk in the freezing weather. Then of course I usually nick one of his jackets and a scarf, but whatever.

I cut when he's not home, cleaning up everything perfectly so he has no idea until he's pushing up my sleeves. He kisses them, and that just makes me blush a lot, which makes him laugh, which makes me want to cry, which usually leads to sex, which I completely approve of.

It's the seventh day that I truly wake up—and with a headache, of course. Not because of the entire _one_ glass of vodka I had last night, no. It's just simply throbbing because it can. And that's when something hits me, and I realize that what I'm doing has gone too far.

Thor is still in bed, an arm slung around my waist and his face crammed into his pillow. I slip out from under him and get out of bed as quietly and with as little movement as I can, grabbing my clothes and taking them just outside of the door so I can be a little louder dressing.

It doesn't matter, though. He wakes up.

"Lo'?" he calls from the bedroom.

I shrug on my sweatshirt. "Amora called your cell phone," I say, zipping it up. It's cold outside, dammit. "She needs me back at her place."

"Oh, do you want any breakfast before you go?" He comes out of the door in a pair of boxers, leaning against the top frame with his hands.

"No, I'm good," I say, walking off towards the door. "Did you put my boots anywhere?"

"Just in the front closet," he says, walking past me to get them for me.

I bite onto my bottom lip, plopping onto the floor to put on my socks.

Thor sets the shoes in front of me and just sort of stands there, so I look up at him. He speaks before I can: "Don't forget your razors," he says quietly. "I mean, since you're not coming back."

I frown, mostly just annoyed that he saw right through me, but also pretty annoyed that he's trying to guilt trip me or something. "Who said I'm not coming back?"

"Don't play stupid, Loki. It's written all over your face. You're afraid."

I all but leap up, frown now angry instead of annoyed. "And who are _you_ to tell me when I'm afraid and what it is that I'm afraid of?"

"Nobody at all. I'm just the guy with the cigarettes."

I burst into tears, which isn't entirely normal for me, but hey…there's nothing normal about me. Thor engulfs me in his arms, holding me close and tight as he strokes my hair and whispers sweet nothings in my ears.

"You don't have to be scared," he says when I've dropped my tears down to little sniffles. Lord, a grown man crying in the arms of another… How embarrassing.

"I can't stay any longer, Thor," I say, though it comes out as more of a croak. "I've never stayed this long with anybody before. Three days was my max before this. I mean, aside from Amora's. I get attached to people very easily, okay, and I don't want it to happen with you. I don't want it to happen with anybody. It's too painful to think about that maybe one day I'll just be in one place. Simply…staying."

Thor steps away enough that he can wipe both thumbs lightly underneath my eyes to get the tears. It's a good thing I'm a pretty crier. "Okay," he says quietly. "But don't forget your razors. You'll need those. Oh, and remember the disinfectant technique I taught you. Amora's bound to have some at her place. Do you want a cigarette before you go?"

I shake my head, backing away from him. "No. No, no, no. I don't want anything. I have to go." I fling open the door and walk as fast as I can to the stairwell, because I've decided that I really fucking hate elevators. When I get outside, the cold air rushes at me like it's trying to swallow me whole.

"Loki!" I look up to see Thor standing out on his balcony. "Here." He drops something down to me, and I catch what is a brand new box of cigarettes with a lighter taped to the side. After staring at them a moment I see that there's even a message written on the side in Thor's messy construction worker scrawl:

_I'm not addicted yet._

I look back up, fighting back tears again, but he's already gone. So I start walking, lighting up a cigarette as I go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Five days have passed since I left Thor. Amora welcomed me back at her place without question, but Skurge asked me a couple of questions about his hair. It wouldn't be weird to me if he didn't hate his hair so much so that he just kept it basically gone all of the time.

I'm sitting on the bathroom floor right now, facing the wide open door. My head is in my hands and I can't seem to breathe right, though I can't seem to figure out why. Even after Thor reminding me eight hundred thousand times I still left my razors there, but Amora got me new ones. They're scattered around me right now, but all of them are still clean. She got them for me the second day that I was back, but I haven't used any of them yet. I'm not sure why about that, either, but…

But it hurts. I've woken up three nights in cold sweats that even a cigarette can't cure, so I just sit down and stare at them. It helps a little. But I have to stop, don't I? Nobody likes my scars. I don't even like them. Nobody's ever told me outright that they don't like them (well, out of the people that I've stayed/still stay with), but I can see it in their eyes. It's like a disease that they don't want to touch. But Thor…

He's the only one that's ever kisses them before. The only one that's ever made sure they didn't get infected or bleed for too long. The only one that's ever fucking _cared_.

I have on cigarette left in the box that he gave me, but I can't seem to get myself to use it yet. _I'm not addicted yet._ Well, maybe I'll use it now… I drop it out, grabbing one of Amora's lighters and blazing up, pulling in a drag that makes my eyes water. I trace my fingers over the now empty box, going lightly over the words. And then something catches my eye. Something on the inside. I look into it, eyes widening at the four words written in the same messy scrawl on the bottom of the inside of the box (how Thor had time to unwrap a box, take out all the cigarettes, figure out how to write something on the bottom, and then put all of the sticks back in is beyond me. Unless…unless he saw this coming. Unless he knew that I was going to leave, so that he had this ready…):

_But maybe I am._

I yank the cigarette from my mouth and leap up, emptying my stomach into the toilet, surprised that anything is coming out at all. I drink a lot of water, but I haven't eaten very much in these last five days.

I puke once more before simply crying on the bathroom floor, taking drags on the cancer stick between sobs. I was only there a week. One fucking week and I'm staring to fall. I know I get attached to people easily (hence why I have the numbers of practically every person I've ever stayed with written on a slip of paper either in my jeans pocket or on the coffee table by the couch at Amora's, just so I can call them up even for a walk in the park), but this is ridiculous. I've never actually wanted to _stay_ somewhere. I've never wanted another person to _want me_ to stay. But Thor does want me to stay, and it hurts. It hurts like hell.

Amora walks in, pushing her fingers lightly through my hair in a massaging way. "Skurge brought chicken home for dinner tonight," she says quietly, squatting down to my level, looking into my eyes. Hers are the same as mine; the same emerald green with long dark brown lashes and black pupils that are always too big no matter how bright it is. She has the same color skin as me too: all pale and sickly translucent even when we're not sick at all. "Do you want any?"

"I just threw up," I say, taking another drag.

She nods, standing back up. She looks like an angel with the bathroom light right behind her. "We won't save any for you, then. Get some sleep, Lo'. You'll smile once today, I promise. **You're gonna come around soon**."

I go out into the kitchen at about two in the morning to see that there's just enough chicken for me to eat, saved on a plate, wrapped in plastic wrap. I just sit at the table and cry.

**The angel said I'd smile today, but who needs angels anyway?**

**XxX**

Day six I make sure I've changed my clothes again before going out in the real public, not just to the gypsy styled bar a block down that Amora works at. Black briefs, faded blue jeans, a grey-ish-white button up with nothing underneath (because whatever), Converse, and then tops it all with my usual too-thin green sweatshirt.

I stumble out of the apartment with the little money that I have (yay for twenty dollars; maybe Amora could find me a place I could simply clean…_anything_) in my back pocket, my list of numbers in the other back pocket, and my razors in my sweatshirt pocket. I haven't used them since I left Thor's, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me feel better to have them around.

I made sure to grab an extra cigarette and a lighter.

My feet carry me back to the heater, and I almost start crying again. The empty cigarette box is in the same pocket as his razors, of course. I walk slowly to the metal "bench", sitting lightly upon it in the same way that I did when Thor found me: one arm at my side (the other occupied with the cancer stick) and my legs hanging off the edge to get warm.

That's when he's there again. I didn't even know that I showed up at the same time as last time. Shit. It hurts to look at him, hair in the same loose ponytail and in the same red and lighting bolt jacket, another cigarette in his mouth.

I just watch him, thinking he's going to just…keep…going. But then he turns, and there's a look on his face and in his eyes that I instantly know to be the look he's worn every time he passes this place. Every day after work when he walks home, leaving the car in the garage under the condos for days that it's snowing too hard or raining, he probably turns just to see if I'm there. And when I'm not, it's just for the memories. He's missed me too.

This time I am here, though, and he stops completely, sliding just barely on the cold sidewalk. It's the end of the worst week of November, now. He just stares at me, eyes somehow being way too wide and half lidded at the same time. His exhales leave cold fogs in the air, though not from his cigarette, which hangs in his hands limply at his side.

And I have the audacity to smile. "I have my own today," I whisper just loud enough for him to hear me.

Thor walks over without saying anything, standing in the same way that he did the first time, leaning against the heater but not actually touching me. But then he does touch me, the hand not holding a cigarette sliding in at my waist. I can't help it. My legs wrap lightly around his, holding him to the heater, and I drop my cancer stick holding hand to lean up and return the kiss that he's leaning down for, breathing in his scent and swallowing his taste in my mouth like a drug.

When Thor pulls away, his eyes are happy, but he's smiling somewhat sadly. "Amora's called me three times since you left," he breathes.

I blink up at him. "…what?"

"Amora. She told me that you haven't tried to call up any of your other friends, and that the only place you go when you leave her place is that gypsy styled bar she works at. She told me that you don't eat enough and that you haven't been cutting at all. And I want you back, Loki. And I don't even mean as a rent boy. I like you, dammit. And I know that you like me too and that that scares you, but it's not that hard, I know. We can start all over. You can stay in the back room tonight and I'll cook you breakfast and we can stand out on the balcony afterwards. You have to come back, Lo'. Amora is having fits to the moon and back. Besides…you're cigarette is almost out anyway."

I stare up at him, taking another drag. I really want to say no, because _I can't do this_, because I'm not addicted yet, and I really don't want to become as such.

Thor kisses me again at my silence, and when he pulls away I nod, because yeah, maybe I am.

We walk home slower than the first time, his arm around my waist again and mine around his as well. He makes a comment about how I need to start dressing warmer, but I just wave it off with something about being used to it again.

When we walk inside, Thor kisses me lightly on the temple before telling me that he really does have the intention to let me sleep in the back room. And I'm grateful for that, because I think I need a night to myself. A night that I can just think about how idiotic I am.

**XxX**

I wake in a cold sweat, tears pooling behind my eyes. I manage to hold them until after I get out on the balcony (thankfully it's connected to the dining room and not the main bedroom), letting them unleash and wrack my body with horrifying sobs. There are chairs on the balcony, to which I definitely take use of.

It's about ten minutes before I calm myself back down, and I drag my hands down my face before I walk back inside, flopping onto the back bed. I'm still in my clothes, but I at least managed to get my Converse off. So now I kick off my socks and shirt, falling swiftly asleep in my briefs and jeans.

**XxX**

When I wake up the next morning, Thor is lying on the edge of the bed with me. My heart swells at the sight, and I want to stay, but I really have to pee. So I crawl soundlessly and practically without movement over him to use the bathroom outside of the door. When I look back inside he's still fast asleep, and I really don't want to wake him, so I just make my way out to the balcony again after peeing and after I make myself a cup of instant coffee with hot faucet water.

I'm probably out there for about forty-five minutes, taking in the cold and the view and the surroundings of the balcony and across the street and even on this side of the street. That's when I feel like I could use a cigarette. So I turn around and head back inside.

Thor is sitting at the table, head hanging and hands weaved into his loose hair. When I step inside, though, his head snaps up, and then his entire body snaps up. He looks surprised, which just makes me raise an eyebrow. He trips slightly on the chair and falls back into a sitting position, looking me over as I shut the door.

"Um, good morning?" I say, slowly setting my cup of coffee on the table.

"The blinds of the balcony doors were drawn," he says, licking his dry lips. "I didn't know you were out there. I thought you had already left again."

I understand his reaction instantly, and a faint smile plays at my lips. "I'm not going anywhere this time, Thor," I say, walking forward until I'm standing in front of him.

"Promise?" he asks, hands reaching up to set themselves on my hips.

"Ask again later," I say, sliding forward to sit on his lap, straddling his waist. "When I know for sure."

His arms snake around my waist as he kisses me, nothing slow in our movements. My hands instantly work at his shirt until it's over his head, dropping onto the floor beside us and the table. His fingers work quickly down the buttons of my own shirt, pushing it open for his hands to trace across the planes of my chest.

"This is a good look for you," he breathes, kissing hungrily down my neck.

"What, straddling you?" I say back, my hands dropping to his red boxers. He's just in a shirt (well, _was_ in a shirt) and his underwear.

"No," he says, gasping against my skin when my hand grips onto his cock, rubbing it to be as hard as the concrete holding up the condo. "The briefs, the button-up long sleeve, the bell bottoms, and the Converse. Casually sexy." He bats my hand away from his cock and swings me around until I'm sitting sideways in his lap, one hand supporting my back and the other stripping me off my jeans and briefs, then swings me back into my straddling position.

"I missed you," I breathe, kissing him again before he can answer me. I've never said it to anybody before. Well, except Amora…but she doesn't count. She doesn't count for a lot of things.

Thor pushes his tongue into my mouth, and I gasp/moan when his hand brushes heatedly around my cock. He swipes at the head with a thumb, making me gasp again, before pulling away from the kiss and sticking his fingers into his mouth. He sucks heavily on it, staring directly into my eyes, and he doesn't have to speak for me to see the message they scream: _But maybe I am._

When he pulls them out he kisses me again, biting at my swollen lips. And I gasp into his mouth again when his slicked finger finds my opening, pushing lightly in. I'm usually well opened, but a week without even masturbation closed me up a bit. He finger fucks me for a moment, drowning out my moans with his own as I push back into his touch. He adds a second slicked finger, scissoring, swirling, and then a third, and hell, he even adds a fourth for good measure.

I growl at him to get the fuck on with it already, and he grins. I hop off of him just long enough to take him in my mouth and lather his cock with my saliva, and then I hop back on his lap and position myself as he positions his cock. I sink down onto him with a sucked in moan, pushing down onto him without any mercy to him or myself.

My knees hitch up and I set my feet to rest on the edges of the chair, lifting myself again and again for him to pound into me, his own hips thrusting up when I push down. My arms wrap around his neck and my fingers tangle and pull at his hair, and his own hands hold tightly to my hips, guiding my up and down as he did the second time we were in bed together.

That thought pushes me over the edge, and my cock release between us in a mess of come, splattering our chests. I pump faster onto Thor, our eyes locked as I feel him near release as well. When he comes up inside of me I lean forward to bite at the skin of his neck, leaving dark teeth marks.

"I have today off," Thor says, holding me to him, his cock softening inside of me. "You can't leave again. Please."

"I won't," I breathe, holding him back. "I won't." I kiss him softly, all of the feelings of the almost-week without each other still pouring into it. And I know I won't, even if I haven't made the promise yet. It would hurt too much to leave again. I have no self control.

I've finally fallen completely. It's not love yet, no. But it will be if I stay any longer. So I do the proper thing that any rent-boy would do: I fall asleep in Thor's arms.

**XxX**

Four days later I wake up in Thor's bed, wrapped tightly in blankets. The blonde is moving around in the kitchen, getting ready for work. I've been back to Amora's twice to grab my things, because I know very well that I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I haven't promised yet, but I know.

I swing out of bed and grab from the floor the first pair of underwear I see, surprised very much that Thor's fit me. That is _quite_ the elastic band. I walk into the kitchen, stretching my arms up. "Morning," I say around a yawn.

"Mmm, good morning," he says, spinning over to kiss me before continuing on to the door. "I'm going to be back a little later today. You know where the food..." He trails off, looking at my waist. "Are those mine?"

I look down, feigning innocence. "Oh, would you look at that. Yes they are. They were the first thing I grabbed off the floor."

He walks back over to me, hands splaying over my sides as he kisses me slowly, deeply. "Have I told you yet how happy I am that you came back?"

I smirk, my hands tracing over his shirt, feeling the muscles alive underneath it. "Only fifty-seven times."

He kisses me again. "Is that all?"

I breathe a laugh, pushing his hands off of me. "I'm going to make you late for work again."

"You're worth it."

I smile, because what else is there to say to that. "Get to work, Thor. We'll need the money now that I'm here."

He rolls his eyes heavenward, pulling away. He knows that I'm looking for a job again, because for some reason I feel kind of bad that I'm not helping provide for anything. Sure, there's the sex, but that definitely does not count as a payment with Thor. Damn him, making me care. Well…maybe care isn't a big enough word. Because I certainly care about Amora and Skurge, but never have I had the urge to buy them anything.

"Try not to get thrown out of another gas station," Thor says as he shrugs on his red jacket with the lightning bolt on the back. He's added a black scarf now that it's November, but it's not very tight around his neck.

"I was not _thrown_ out," I mutter, crossing my arms and leaning against the wall more. "I was simply shown the door as soon as the man realized I'm the downtown city _whore_."

"Lookiiii," Thor says in a very undignified whine, crossing the room to me again in a heartbeat. "What have I told you about calling yourself names?"

I sigh, ducking my head. "Don't."

"Exactly. When are you going to listen to me?"

"When people stop recognizing me for it."

"Define people."

"Not just five or ten people, Thor. Everybody."

Thor sighs, kissing my forehead. "Well it shouldn't be long then, right? People will ask to buy you a drink and you'll have to decline because you're with me."

I can't help but smile up at him, pushing up on my toes to rub my nose to his. "Go on, Thor. It's not that import…" I trail off, eyes going wide. "Thor, that's it! Drinks!"

Thor takes a step back to blink at me. "Drinks? What?"

"Ohohoh I can't be_lieve_ I've never thought about it before! Amora's been hinting at it for I've never thought about it before! Amora's been hinting at it _years_ even though I wasn't twenty-one yet. 'You make a _mean_ buttercup scotch, Lo'.' 'Good lord, you could go out and sell these cherry vodka martinis they're so good, Lo'.' 'You'd be a brilliant gay bartender, Lo'.'" I let out a laugh, spinning off into the bedroom. "Thor, I know where I'm going! I'm an idiot! This is great!"

Thor pokes his head in, utterly confused. "Loki, you're killing me here. What on earth are you talking about?"

"Nope, go to work." I flop around on the bed, attempting to put on the same outfit that I had on when Thor found me at the heater for the second time (since Thor did, after all, declare it casually sexy, and you have to look good if you're trying to get a job). "I'll explain everything tonight! Or if the world really loves me, I'll have to call you. If I'm nowhere around call Amora, and if even she's in the dark—which she won't be—I'll be at the Garpsy!"

Thor wrinkles his nose up. "Is that really what it's called?"

"Actually, I think it's called the Bar at Mimzy's since that's what street it's on, but all of the employees and frequenters call it Garpsy. Like, bar and gypsy mixed together, you know? They're known for their mixed concoctions, so it works."

He gives a sort of look and shake of his head that says _this is way too much work and I don't even care anymore_. "Alright, whatever, do what you want. But if you're not back by eight, give me a call, okay?"

"Right, right," I say, hopping across the room as I shimmy into my pants. "Have fun at work." I push up on my tiptoes and kiss him softly. "You're definitely going to be late."

Thor just smiles, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me back. "Whatever you're doing, I wish you well."

"Mmm, of course. Have fun at work."

And the big blonde is off. I grab my shirt and go to put it on out on the balcony, waving to Thor walk away as I button it up. I'd wear something under it this time, but nothing I have goes with it and nothing Thor has fits me. That was the one nice thing about staying with a guy smaller than me… Nobody is actually _that_ much smaller than me, which means this guy (his name is Landon and yes I have his number saved) and I could share clothes, which we did the two times that I stayed over. Haven't seen him in a while, though… And, if this works as well as it does in the movies, I never will again in the same ways as last time. It was weird topping, anyway. I'm way better at catching.

As soon as I'm dressed I let out a dying pterodactyl noise, because I still need to shower. So I strip in a flurry, shower faster than I have in months, dress in the same flurry, and pluck out my favorite of Thor's coats (one of his smallest ones, thank the lord). Yeah, he should really wear trench coats more often. It would bring out his legs, and can you imagine the image with his hair up in the ponytail he's always got up? Beautiful.

I make sure to lock all of the doors when I leave, taking the stairs three at a time. I don't have a key to the actual condo yet, but it hasn't exactly been quite long enough for that yet anyway, no matter if I'm staying or not, so that's alright. And I don't even need my own key to the car, considering that I can't drive. I've never even tried before…don't really want to. Cars kind of scare me. Thankfully I'm used to walking everywhere.

I let myself into Amora's, because she's definitely not at work yet. Thor's supposed to be at work at about ten in the morning (I actually have no idea what all he does, exactly), and Amora doesn't go into the bar until…well, it depends on the day. It's usually open by one in the afternoon and stays open till two in the morning, so she won't be up and about for at least another hour, usually showing up there at about noon. She's probably up by now, just now really moving around.

"'Ora?" I say from inside of the door in a very high pitched whisper that I know she'll knows is me and come running out to me. Which she does, clad in some of the sheerest nightgown material I have ever seen. Which I've seen a lot of since being here. It doesn't bother me at all, of course, seeing as though we're close but not that close and that I'm gay anyway.

"Yes?" she says, rubbing at her eyes in a way that suggests she has not just been woken up but hasn't been up long enough to blink the sleepies away. Good, I know her as well as I thought. "What is it? Did Thor throw all of your razors away? Did you meet somebody else? How many cigarettes did he give you?"

"Amora, Amora, calm down," I say, holding my hands out in front of me. "I'm still saying with Thor, and my razors are in the pocket of my green sweatshirt like they always are. Don't hurt yourself."

"Oh." She stretches. "Did you see Skurge when you came in?"

I know this is about when Skurge goes out to work, too. "No, I must have just missed him and his truck."

"Right, okay. What is it, then?"

"I need a job."

She blinks at me, walking a few steps to sit on the arm of the couch I always sleep on when I stay over. And the smile on her face lets me know that she knows that I finally figured it out. "What kind of job?"

I return her smile with a grin. "Want a cherry vodka martini?"

She laughs and clasps her hands together. "Oh, _Loki_. It _took_ you long enough. Just a minute, just a minute, let me call Ivan"—(her boss and the owner of the bar, Ivan Vanko)—"for you. I've already told him about you, so he knew he would get this call eventually."

She dials up, and as she waits for him to answer, she looks me over. "Nice," she says with an approving nod. "Casually sexy." Then her attention snaps back to the phone. "'Van-Van?" (A very embarrassing nickname, if you ask me. But that's what you get when the last sound of your first name is the first of your last name.) "Yes, of course it's me. Remember the kid I told you about? The one that mixes like a god?" Pause. "Yeah, he's ready. Should I bring him over now or when I usually go in?" Pause. "Okay, lovely, we'll be there. Thank you so much, Van. You have no idea what you're in for." Pause. "Yes, yes, I love you too. Say hello to Hammer for me!" Pause. "No I will not call him by his first name! I don't care _if_ he's your boyfriend and owns a fourth of the business. You know I don't like him." Pause and giggle. "Alright, alright, keep your panties are. YES THEY ARE TOO PANTIES." A laugh. "Tootleoo!" And she hangs up the phone.

"You know," I say, leaning against the door since I never managed to get very far past it. "The thought has never occurred to me just how many _gay people_ you know. Any lesbians, maybe? One or two?"

"Not even Sif."

"Yeah, I think you would have mentioned if she were." Sif is Amora's daughter. She had her back when she was barely fourteen, and when she gave her up for adoption she was able to keep in contact after all of those years. She doesn't see Sif as often as she wishes she would (especially when she works at the same place as Skurge and it would be so easy), but that's mostly due to the fact that they don't get along all that well. Amora's fault, really… Though I love her, she's not exactly all that lovable when you get right down to it. She had a son, too, that she had when she was sixteen (which was twenty-one years ago, so he'd be my age now, and I'm sure we'd get along just fine). He died during birth, though… I really wish I could have met him. I probably wouldn't have, though, since I've never met Sif.

"Alright, I'm going to get ready," Amora says, leaping away from the couch. "Stay here, because as soon as I'm ready we're going strrrraight to Garpsy's!" She all but flies away.

So, while I wait, I do the only practical thing that there is to do when one must wait to be taken to get a job at a bar. I practice my mixes.

The funny thing is, I've never even been much of a fan of alcohol. I know the tastes all by heart and I can appreciate them, but only enough to make sure I've perfected the creation of a mix. Other than that I'd just rather stick to my cigarettes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I hear someone sit down at the counter behind me, and I spin around on my heels without looking up from the glass that I'm cleaning. Because, yeah, I totally got the job. Ivan loves me to death, and his boyfriend (Justin) loves me even more, which is almost awkward, but I'm used to it. I know both of them like the back of my hand already since I'm already here all the time, not to mention all of the costumers.

"Eeeeavening," I say with a bright smile, still not looking up so I can get these damn lipstick marks off. "What can I get you on this starry night?"

"You."

I almost drop the glass at the voice. "Thor!" I say with an even brighter smile. "You came!" I set the glass down and lean across the counter, throwing my arms around him as we kiss.

Somewhere down the counter I hear a woman saying, "I'll have what the big blonde's having."

A laugh from Amora and I'm pulled away. "You've earned your break, love. Fifteen-twenty minutes in the back office. I'll make sure Van-Van and Jay-Ham don't walk in."

I grin, speed cleaning the glass I was on before putting it away. "Come on," I say, grabbing Thor's hand and pulling him towards the office. The blinds are always drawn shut, but I lock the door as well. Ivan won't care. He seems to like me enough, and Justin likes me even more. If he calls me cute one more time, though, I'm going to punch him.

"I take it you got my message," I breathe as Thor pushes me up against the cleanest wall.

"Yeah," he breathes back, leaning down to bite at my neck. "Congratulations on the job. Think you've earned a reward?"

I smile, pushing my fingers into his hair. "That depends."

"I don't even care what it depends _on_." He pulls away from the wall and drops us onto the ground. "You're getting one."

He undoes the button of my jeans and pulls down the zipper in the same fluid movement, and then pushes my jeans and briefs down at once as well. He's kissing me as he does it, but then he's pulling his mouth away from mine, backing down with a glint in his eyes that I've never seen before. Before I can bring it to our attention, though, he takes the head of my cock into his mouth, and everything in the world but his _mouth_ ceases to exist.

I let out low moans as his tongue swirls around the tip in circles. My breath catches in my throat as he takes me full into his mouth. My eyes roll into my head as he starts to pump. My hands claw mercilessly into his hair as he doesn't even falter when the head presses against the back of his throat.

I don't know how long it takes, but eventually I reach the top, moaning incoherently apart from his name at my release. My hands are tangled hopelessly in his hair and he's still holding my hips down. Right, so he's done this before, but not quite enough that he's as good with bucking hips. Please excuse my sexual deduction.

"Oh gods," I breathe as he pulls his mouth away and crawls up my body until our faces are level (not that he hardly has to move at all to get to that position considering how much taller he is compared to me). "I should do things right more often."

He smiles down at me, leaning down to kiss me languidly before saying, "You do things right all the time. I'm just proud of you for getting past what everyone is saying."

"So you admit that they're saying things!"

"Did I ever deny it?"

"Touché."

"Now that you have a job and a place to _stay_, you'll stop putting yourself down, right?"

I purse my lips. "No. It's not until everyone _else_ acknowledges those things."

"Are you sure we can't classify 'everyone else' as like…five or six people?"

I sigh, but he starts talking again before I can say anything: "Six people that know about you, but don't _know_ you. People who have simply seen you and know what you used to do, but now they know that you're with me and you've even got this job, but they don't know your personality. So they're just people off the streets."

"Good lord, Thor, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I have a few friends who don't know a thing about you, but very well could, and then you could see for yourself that people don't think of you that way anymore."

"_Who_?"

"My parents and four best friends."

I can't help but give a little bit of a terrified smile. "You have absolutely no idea how much you will owe me if I have to meet your _parents_."

He gives a huge smile, pulling us up into sitting positions. "Anything. Come on, you have two minutes till twenty."

Despite that, I kiss him hard before we stand and put my pants and underwear back on properly, and then we quick fix each other's hair and I wipe some spit off of Thor's chin. Amora is smirking at us when we come out, but I just give her a bright smile before continuing on behind the counter as Thor goes to sit at the end seat. We talk when we can, between my taking and making and delivering of the orders.

And at this moment I'm telling him (and everybody else that's listening—AKA everyone seated at the front bar table, which is a total of eight chairs, five on one end and three after the curve of the counter) a particularly riveting tale about a time I almost got into a fight at a bar.

"So he finds out I'm gay, you know? And he's flipping all sorts of shit. Tells me his father was gay and tried raping him as a child and all this bullshit material he was having trouble making up on the spot to justify his prejudices. And of course that's before I worked here, and I'm sitting right in one of those front seats, so 'Ora comes over to rescue me.

"She flips about four times as much shit as this guy, and he ends up flat on his back before she drags him by his foot out of the bar and told him not to come back because this is a L-G-B-T-Q-A friendly bar. Says it right on the policy, which means the costumers better be just as accepting or they're _gone_."

"Yeah, I remember that!" Ryan (one of the guys listening) says. "I was sitting right beside you! It's a right sight to behold, a female protecting her young."

I snort. "She's _hardly_ my mother. Just helping me out. You _all_ know how I used to get around, yeah?"

All of the men but Thor give those "ifyouknowwhatimean" nods of acknowledgment. The blonde just gives a little sigh. And that's when I realize that I can use this as an advantage!

"But!" I say, grabbing some glasses a woman sets on the counter for simple beer refills. "That's all in the past, now. Now that I've got this big blonde _beast_ over here."

Thor gives a shy smile as the other men laugh.

"What's so different about him?" a man I don't know asks. "What is it that your 'other guys' don't have?" He looks strangely professional and not at the same time.

"Yeah, Lo'," Amora says, suddenly showing up beside me, cleaning some glasses. Somehow, even when on the other side of the room, she knows what I'm talking about. "What is it?"

I smile, purposefully not meeting Thor's gaze, and hand the woman her drinks back. "Well, he cares more than the others," I begin, glad that none of my "other guys" aren't in this crowd at all. "And he's bigger than me. Because topping? Blegh."

"Amen, brother," David says, raising his glass. He's the only gay one listening in at the present moment.

That's when I turn to Thor. "Anything I should keep my mouth shut about?"

He shrugs. "Details."

I nod at him before I spin around to the middle of my crowd (frequenters of the Garpsy, whom I've drank with many a time—even before it was legal. Fake ID's are a wonderful thing when the cops come about), about the fourth one down on the row of five. "It started with a cigarette." I hold my hand out.

The men chuckle, and the one in front of me (Dylan) pulls one of said cancer sticks out of his breast pocket and hands it to me. Troy, sitting beside him, pulls out a lighter for me.

I smile at them both, leaning against the counter more and puffing smoke out into Ryan's face. Ryan's my favorite here, then Dylan, and then David (who's Dylan's little brother). They're all roommates, actually. Or they were… Dylan moved out a while ago. The other guy (Troy) isn't here as often, so I don't know him as well, but he's still pretty cool. Those four and Thor are sitting on the side of the counter with five chairs. And then there are the three chairs, filled with three people I don't know. The one man that looks both professional and not, and two women, one who's wearing too much make up. The other (sitting in the middle, with the man on the far end) is wearing just the right amount, and she looks far more pleasant than the first one.

"I was sitting in an alley a few blocks down—you know the one with the heater in it, so I could warm myself up. And Mr. Shit Brick-House Blonde here with a cig just when I finished my own box, and you all know how I am with these little guys." I take in a drag, blowing down at the ground. "So I can't help but call out to him to see if I can have one, you know?" Another drag, this time the smoke going into Dylan's face, who doesn't even bat an eyelash. He's so used to me doing this to him it's all but second nature to just blink through it. "We got to talkin', 'cause hey, that's what I do, right?"

A wiggle of my eyebrows and I pull a laugh from six of my crowd of eight. Thor just rolls his eyes heavenward with a smile, and the unpleasant looking women continues to glare at me like she has been the entire time. Actually, she's been glaring a lot at Thor, too…

"He noticed my scars, we talked about my age, yadda, yadda, long story short he wanted to make sure I had a place to stay. Legitimately, he was going to stick me in the back room. But hey, you know me."

Even Thor laughs this time.

"So I said something about heading home—"

"Home?" the pleasant woman asks. She has dark brown hair and is wearing glasses which, contrary to most belief of women, are actually very attractive if worn right. "I gathered you didn't have a place."

"I stay with Amora," I say, waving my cigarette hand to gesture to Amora as she sashays around the room. "That's who 'Ora is. I've mentioned her a couple of times, and she showed up behind me a little bit ago. I stay with her when nobody else takes me in that night. Well, I used to."

She nods, so I go back to my story:

"When he saw right through me that I didn't really have a permanent home, he just _insisted_ that I stay with him. _Not_ for the sex, but because he's Mr. Nice Guy who wants to help out poor little rent-boy over here. You know he even asked me about running away? I'm a _little_ older than seventeen, thank you very much."

I wink over at him as my crowd laughs some more.

"So I'm there for a week, you know, which is weird all in itself seeing as though I usually spend a grand total of a couple of nights at one place at a time. Anyway, all of my habits come along for the ride. Getting up too early, cutting, smoking...all that jazz. And I realize that I'm not doing what I should be… Most of you here know how attached I get. You know, the list that I keep. Actually, Thor doesn't know about that…" I turn to him. "I've got a list of the numbers of every guy I've ever stayed with stashed away at 'Ora's. I haven't looked at in the last three weeks, but I still keep it."

He shrugs and nods in acknowledgment, sipping at his drink.

"Anyway, about him caring more than the others… I was scared, you know? The only person I let myself get truly attached to are 'Ora and people that I _don't_ sleep with, like you four"—I gesture to Ryan, Dylan, David, and Troy. "So I, uh…I left."

They all give sad sounds, and I blow smoke up at the ceiling.

"I was gone for a week. I didn't even leave 'Ora's house. I didn't even cut… I just stared at the bathroom door a lot." I sigh, blowing smoke out at the ground. "So then I went back to the heater, and there he was. Now, insert details he asked me not to share here, and we ended up back at his place. Except I _actually_ slept in the back room that night… Oh, and I gave him a heart attack because I was smoking out on the balcony and the glass doors curtains were shut so he thought I had already left again."

My crowd is sure whether to laugh or not, so I quick continue talking:

"And here I am now, a week later and still at his place. _And_ I have a job. Total turnaround, right?"

That's when the happy cheers come in, because who doesn't like a happy ending?

"So you've really got a boyfriend now?" David asks, holding his glass out for a refill and some bills to pay for it. "No more friends with benefits?"

"That's the plan, yup!" I say, handing Troy my cigarette to finish before fixing David up one of those cherry vodka martinis Amora likes so much.

"Hey, hey, I got a question for the lucky guy," the unpleasant looking woman asks.

I look over at Thor, who gives a sort of _oh wait that's me_ look before he actually sees who's talking to him and let's out a tiny groan. "Um…yes?"

"How the _hell_ could you have such an _evil_ heart that you dumped our _best friend_ for _him_?"

Thor groans again, I let out my own groan, and—hell, every single person at the counter groans. Even the pleasant looking woman and the man beside her let out the tiniest of ones, closing their eyes in one of those "oh god please no" looks.

"You missed it," Thor mutters to me. "She came back before I got over here."

"Thor, _honestly_. Stop opening your door. Or, hey, better yet: _restraining order_. Because if I have to bitch her out again I am going to be a hell of a lot less polite."

"Oh, you _are_ the guy who slammed the door in her face!" the pleasant woman says—and I still say pleasant because she doesn't say it in any sort of rude way. She says it more like the clouds opened up and revealed to her something that had been confusing her for the past three weeks.

I smirk, walking over to lean against the counter in front of them. "And what can I call you two _lovely_ ladies?"

The unpleasant woman blinks at me, looking like she wants to just keep bitching me out, but the other says, "I'm Darcy, and this is Lynda." She looks over at the guy beside them, but he doesn't even look back at her, so she shrugs and looks back at me.

"Thank you _so_ much," I say, standing up and looking around until I spot Amora. "Oh 'Oooooora!"

She looks up.

"We've got a Code Seven."

She rolls her eyes and nods.

I turn back to the woman with a smile. "I actually kind of like you," I say to the pleasant looking one, "but I sort of hate your friend, so you two can either leave on your own or we'll call in security. We don't tolerate jealous ex bitches friends like your friend right here, no matter how pleasant their other friends are. Sorry."

My crowd cheers and the unpleasant woman looks completely insulted and stomps off. The second, though, just stands. "Sorry about her," she says. "Jane and I met her at a club a few months ago. I don't know why she's so protective over the whole thing…she didn't even like Thor."

Thor snorts. "Oh gods, I _know_ she didn't."

I smirk. "Don't move." I turn to Thor. "Is she really this pleasant or is she faking it?"

Thor swallows the last of his glass. "No, she's really nice. I liked her more than Jane most of the time."

I turn back to her. "Darcy, right?"

She nods.

"Well, Darcy. Now that Lynda is gone, you're free to stay."

She smiles. "I would, but she's kind of drunk, I'm the only one with the keys to the car, and I stole her wallet."

I and a couple of the others burst into laughter. "Alright, well, you're welcome back here whenever you please," I say, smiling at her.

She nods. "Yeah, thanks, I like it here." Then she turns to the man she was by. "Thanks for the drink."

He nods, giving her a warm smile.

When she's gone, I lean on the counter in front of him. "Know her?"

He nods. "Jane is a colleague of mine, and that's how I met those two. We initially came in here just for drinks, but since Thor was here too…well, Lynda couldn't help it, I suppose. She said she was going to keep her mouth shut, but did she _look_ like one of those kinds of women?"

I chuckle. "No. No she didn't. Refill?"

"No, I've got to drive myself home."

"Suit yourself."

When I turn around, Ryan says, "One of these days I'll get a look at that code book of yours."

"Oh day, yes, but that day is not today!"

A few minutes pass of me just simply taking/making/delivering orders again, my crowd repositioning themselves around the room and all that. Then Thor asks a question:

"What did he mean by 'code book'?"

"It's the book of rules and code words. Usually we send it home with a new employee so they can study it and know the usual lingo that's used around this place. I don't need it, though, since I've been reading it out of boredom for the last five years."

The blonde cocks an eyebrow. "You've been coming here for five years? You're only twenty-one, though…"

"Yeah," I scoff. "Like that would stop someone like _me_. Cops come in sometimes, but I know my way around. Fake ID's, going to the bathroom, making fake moaning noises when I'm alone in the back office. All that jazz."

Thor snorts. "You've had a fake ID since you were sixteen, you fake having sex, and you say 'all that jazz'? Come here, come kiss me. You are far too good to be true."

I smirk, leaning across the counter to him. "Aren't I?"

We keep our eyes open, just staring at each other for a moment, before our lifts drift shut. It's a slow kiss—one that obtains a few low whistles from random people in the bar, actually.

"Only a couple of hours left until closing time," I say when we pull away, picking my rag back up to clean some more glasses. "You probably shouldn't stay here much longer. I mean, since you have work tomorrow. Eight hours is not entirely adequate for someone of your size."

Thor snorts. "I've stay out all night before, I can do it again."

"But _should_ you?"

He shrugs. "It's your first night here. I'd like to stay."

I smile, putting some glasses away. "Do I really have to meet your parents?"

He laughs. "I'd like it if you did. I've never brought over anyone to meet them before. They met Jane simply because she forced herself upon them. And they liked her, actually. She can be pretty awesome, actually, when she's not being a jealous ex."

"Why did you guys break up, anyway?"

"Because I finally stopped denying my sexual orientation."

I chuckle. "Right, right, I guess that's a pretty deciding factor right there… How did you even start dating?"

"Well, I never really _asked_ her, but we were together so much it was just sort of a given. Because we definitely didn't act like friends, or even friends with benefits. We held hands and _all that jazz_. Funny as it is, she was only my third girlfriend after all these years. I've never been one for dating because I've always been wrestling with myself about how much I actually like or dislike breasts."

I snort. "Delicately put."

He shrugs, licking his lips with a smile. "Anyway, if my parents liked her, they'll like you too."

"Are you _sure_? Because if they don't…" I sigh. "You know what, fuck it. I don't care _what_ they think of me. I'll just turn the charm dial up as far as I'm allowed and bullshit my way through it."

"Hey. Hey, hey, hey. They _will_ like you. I know it. You won't have to pretend for anyone. If they've accepted me for being a gay construction worker, they shall find a way a way to easily accept whatever it is you're so afraid of sharing."

I snort. "Right, because it's just _weird_ that I'm scared to meet my boyfriend's parents when I'm a gay barman that used to be a rent-boy that has the particular likeness of someone who has run away."

He sighs. "Loki, honestly, I think the only way that you'll…forgive yourself? That's not the right word, but pretend it is. The only way you'll forgive yourself is if you stop referring to yourself as all of these things. You just need to…gods, it's cheesy, but you've just got to believe in yourself, you know? You've just got to trust that people are going to accept you, because how to expect everyone to forgive you if you don't _let_ them?"

I stare at him. Probably a lot longer than I should, but that's what I do anyway.

Thor stares back for a few seconds before smiling. "Can I get a refill?"

I set the glass and the rag in my hands down in the same movement that I lean across the counter and kiss him again. My hands tangle in his hair and I pull him as close to me as I can over this damn countertop, and his tongue pushes past my teeth. When I pull away, his hands have reached across and are gripping at my shirt.

"Go home," I whisper. "Sleep. I'll wake you up when I get back, okay? And we'll stay up a hell of a lot later than healthy."

"Can't I just stay here so we can go home together?"

"No, because I want you to get as much sleep as you can."

He sighs, pulling me forward to give me another kiss. "Fine. How will you get home?"

_Home_. It has a new meaning, now.

"Amora gets off at the same time. She'll take me."

"So…I'll see you then?"

I nod.

"Promise you'll wake me up?"

I chuckle. "Yes, Thor. Now _go_. You don't even have two hours anymore."

"What if I don't wake up very easy?"

"Then I slip my mouth around you cock and bring you to release while you're asleep."

Unlike most men, who would probably have an orgasm at the thought right there, the blonde just chuckles. "I can't wait." And he up and walks away after rubbing his nose against mine.

"Loki."

I turn to the man that had been with Darcy and Lynda. He's standing closer now, bills on the counter where he was sitting and his jacket thrown over his shoulder.

I smile. "It bothers me when everybody knows my name but I don't know theirs."

He gives a half smile. "It's Erik, and I just want you to know that you go much better with him that Jane did."

I blink at him before my face envelopes into a smile. "Thank you."

He nods and heads out.

"That's quite the boyfriend you've got," Ryan says from a chair at the counter. I must have missed it when he came back.

I give a laugh, picking up my glass and rag again. "You have nooo idea, 'Ry. He's perfect for me."

"Really perfect?"

"Definitely."

"How's the sex?"

I snort. "A lot better than it was at your brother's house." (His brother is Landon, the only guy I've ever topped for.)

Ryan laughs. "Yeah, you most definitely do not pitch. But really?"

I smirk. "Amazing, obviously. Not the best, but that's a given seeing as though I've been with so many guys I could probably be labeled as a porn star. He's definitely _one_ of the best, though."

Ryan chuckles. "He seems to like you a lot. He didn't stop watching you for a _second_. It was adorable. For someone so big, he doesn't actually seem all that intimidating."

I laugh, taking the bill he slaps down for half a glass. "He's really not at all. I mean…I've never seen him angry before, nor have I seen him throwing around blocks of wood for his job. I'm sure he'd be plenty intimidating with his ponytail at a time like that."

Ryan nods, taking his refill. "Uh, yeah. Yeah he would."

"How many drinks have you had, anyway?"

"Eh, this is only my 2nd. I'm the designated driver for the night. We've all got a day off at work tomorrow." ("We" as in him, Dylan, and David, because they're always together.)

"Oh, did Dylan move back in?"

"Yeah, he decided that he's afraid of the dark and spiders, so he decided he needed two tougher guys to keep him safe."

I let out a laugh, taking a couple of other orders. Actually, one guy just orders a plate of nachos and a glass of water.

"David's still gay, isn't he?" I ask, taking a sip of Ryan's drink. "I mean, he's getting pretty cozy with that girl over there."

Ryan lets out a groan. "I don't know, he might be bisexual. But right now he's also drunk, so I'm going to go rescue him."

"Heh, good idea."

"Yeah, I know. See you tomorrow?"

"It's a job now, 'Ry. I'll be here."

When he walks off, his spot is picked up by a woman I know pretty well, named Leah, and another woman I don't know at all sits beside her.

"The usual?" I ask Leah, pulling out things to whip up my specialty drink. I've made it here plenty of times even though I didn't actually work here or get paid for it. I just had fun with it, I guess. Why I never thought of working here…I just don't know. Coming here was such an obvious answer.

"Please and thank you," Leah says. "Do you finally actually work here now?"

I nod, turning to her friend. "And for you?"

She's biting on her nail and not really paying attention to me, so I lean against the counter and turn the charm up. "You're new here," I say. "Leah dragging you around to get you a boyfriend and it's not working so well?"

She looks over at me shyly and gives a nod. "These contacts are really hurting my eyes."

"Did you bring your glasses with you?"

"Yes."

"Well, let me tell you a little secret. If you wear them right, glasses are a hell of a lot sexier than contacts. I think you should switch them out right here, and Leah and I will fix you up all perfect like. Because I happen to know a guy that's here right now that will be all _over_ you."

She drops her hand from her mouth. "Really?"

"Mmhmm! He and his roommates will be heading out of here real soon though, so you better hurry before he's gone. In the meantime, would you like a drink?"

"Just an ice water, please," she says as she digs into her purse.

I whip up the two drinks (because ice water is veeery difficult to whip up) before heading over to Ryan, Dylan, and David.

"'Ry, I lied," I say, absentmindedly fixing up David's hair. He doesn't look that drunk, but Dylan is about to fall over. "You should stay here a little longer. There's a lady here who I think you'd really like. I'll get them a taxi, alright?"

He breaks into a smile. "Wow, really?"

"She even wears glasses. But be gentle, yeah? It's her first time out and it hasn't been going all that well, so she's nervous. Just sit down beside her and introduce yourself as the guy the bartender was talking about."

Ryan nods, and I fix up his hair too before he heads over to the counter. It takes a bit to hail a taxi and then give him directions to the brothers' apartment.

"And they'll pay?" the driver asks.

I nod. "They've got the money. It might take a couple of seconds for them to get it out, though."

"As long as I get paid, buddy, I'll be fine."

I grin before snatching another cigarette out of Dylan's breast pocket, because I just can't help it, and then I head back inside, sitting down beside Leah and whispering, "How's it going?" Amora's behind the counter right now.

"Awesome," she says, taking a couple of drags on my cigarette. "You're a lifesaver, Loki. She's been so lonely ever since her last boyfriend dumper her almost an entire year ago. She's impossible on her own, and I don't know near enough men to get a good enough guy for her… She deserves so much, you know?"

"Yeah, she seems pretty fragile. I think Ryan will be perfect for her."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He really likes girls in glasses, and I've never known a guy who reads more. He's a total nerd."

"Oh good, she's been looking for someone who isn't obsessed with football for_ever_."

I smirk. "Well it's a good thing you came to me, then. Mr. Matchmaker Extraordinaire."

"But you are! You even got me together with my own current boyfriend! You're really good at this stuff, okay? You should have your own ad in the newspaper or something. Forget online dating sites, I bring my friends here to talk to _you_."

I smirk. "Now that I think about it, you do bring a lot of people here. Why didn't you just come straight to me tonight?"

"Well, we went clubbing, too, and then we tried a different bar specifically for straight people so we wouldn't accidentally hit on gay men. But we came straight to the counter as soon as we showed up here."

I nod, sneaking a drink of water from…actually, I don't know her name. The glass of Leah's friend. "Well, now we know the best way to get through the night, yeah?"

She nods back, taking my cigarette as she stands. "Come to you. I'll see you around! Thank you _so_ much."

"You won't be saying thank you in a second if you don't give me that cancer stick back."

She laughs, leaning over to her friend. "I'm heading out, okay?" Then, quiet enough that Ryan can't hear her, "Call me if something goes wrong, but if you don't go home with him tonight, Loki's the god of taxi hailing."

And she's gone. And no, she does not give me my cigarette back.

**XxX**

It's not until I get to the outside of the condo after Amora's driven away that I remember I don't actually have a key.

"Brilliant," I mutter, pressing the button that will buzz Thor's place.

I'm answered a couple seconds later: "Lo'?"

"Uh, yeah, about that extra key you have…"

A tired laugh and the door clicks for me to open it. I run up the stairs, and the condo door is unlocked. I lock it behind me and kick my shoes off, padding into the kitchen in my socks. Thor is leaning against the counter, scratching his bare chest and yawning.

"Come on, go back to bed," I say with a laugh, taking his hand and pulling him along.

"But I'm not tired," he says around a second yawn.

I smirk, pushing him onto the bed as I strip down to my briefs. "Of course you're not. It's two-thirty in the morning. Why would you be tired?"

"Is it really that late?"

"It's really that early."

"I thought you got off at two."

"I did, but I had to make sure my matchmaking skills went well, drunk men got back home alright, and then I had to clean up a bit."

"How many employees are there?"

"Um, just four, including Amora and I. Their names are Boris and Tilly, but Boris is in the kitchen and Tilly usually cleans the tables and stands in the corner and makes sure no fights break out. She's Goth and has so many tattoos nobody ever talks to her, which is exactly how she likes it."

He gives a tired sound of understanding. "What's…what's Code Seven?"

"Lynda, basically. Code Six is the jealous relationship or ex, so Code Seven is their friends coming along to do their work for them."

"Oh…yeah…I forgot to ask earlier…"

"Dude, go to sleep. You're about to pass out."

"Wh-what?"

"Goodnight, Thor."

"Good…goodnight, Loki…"

He's snoring instantly, so I pull the blankets up to his chest before I snuggle down until the top of the blanket is level with my eyes and my face is buried into his side.

And just for a moment, the snoring stops.

"Loki?"

"I thought you were asleep."

"I think I was… I don't remember. I want to ask you something about this weekend."

"It couldn't wait until morning?"

"I…guess it could."

"Well, what is it?"

"Can I bring my friends over on Saturday morning before you go to work? And then next weekend you can meet my parents. Does that sound okay?"

I suppress a sigh. "Yeah, sounds brilliant. Now go to sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

He starts snoring again without a word, and I smile, wrapping my arms around his arm closest to me. "Goodnight."

* * *

End chapter A/N's: So the whole part in which Loki is explaining everything about how he got together with Thor to his crowd? Since it's in Loki's PoV I never mentioned it, but during this time Thor is thinking all "they really love him down here" and like, he really fits in and yes he _should_ have thought about working here beforehand and he actually talks very well. Yup. Also I made up Lynda, of course, because I didn't want to make Darcy an asshole, because she becomes generally important to the rest of the fic.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

When Saturday morning comes, I'm pretty sure I'm about to pass out.

"You'll be fine, Lo'," Thor says, rubbing a hand over my bare stomach to try and calm me down a bit. It's almost working, but not really. "They're more uptight than my parents are and I know they'll like you."

"Yeah, because _that's_ reassuring."

"Would another one of those rewards calm you down?"

I sigh. "No, probably not. Just…ugh. Let's just get ready."

"Mmm, we still have an hour…" he breathes, rubbing his nose against my cheek, his hand sliding farther down.

I lean up and strip him of his boxers without another word, kicking mine off at the same time. He settles himself on top of me, meeting my thrusts with his own, his mouth sucking hard on my neck. It wasn't until yesterday that Dylan pointed out just how many hickies I have. I also learned that Ryan and Leah hit it off great, Dylan and David made it home just fine, and Amora called Thor after he went home on my first day and told him something about my favorite color (I know they're both totally lying about that, though).

He pushes a hand underneath my head and cradles it as he wraps an arm around my back and leans us up, shifting around until I'm straddling his waist. He drops the hand from my head and takes a hold of both of our cocks at once, rubbing his hand up and down, causing both of us to moan. My back arches and I lean back on my hands, bucking my hips into his hand.

We near release that way, before he lets go of my back and tangles his fingers back into my hair, pulling me up to press our lips together. Our teeth clash and our lips bruise, only finally separating enough to moan incoherently as we spill simultaneously over his hand and our stomachs.

"Gods," I breathe, holding his hand in my face as I kiss him softly. "I can't even remember the last time I had a hand job."

He laughs, wiping his hand onto the sheet before wrapping both arms around my waist. "I've probably gotten more of those than blow jobs. Jane never exactly enjoyed giving them."

I scoff. "Well that's no fun. Come on, let's shower."

"I'm going to bundle up this sheet first to throw it into the washer… Blanket's clean enough, though. I'll meet you in there."

He steps in a few minutes after me, massaging my scalp with his fingers as he shampoos and conditions my hair for me. I soap up his body while he does his own hair, and just as he's about to soap me back we hear the buzz of people waiting outside.

"I'll get that," Thor says, stepping out and dripping all over the floor before grabbing a towel. "You take your time. I'll keep them out as long as I can."

"Got it," I say, closing the curtain and quick finishing up, because _as long as I can_ probably isn't going to be that long.

Thor comes back into the bedroom just as I'm walking into it from the bathroom to throw on a pair of boxers, jeans, and a t-shirt.

"I'm wearing a pair of your underwear!" I call when he goes to get the door after about three hundred thousand knocks.

"Please do!" he calls back.

I throw on random clothes as I hear him welcoming his four friends into the condo, so I end up in a pair of my own jeans and one of his smaller t-shirts. Once I'm in those clothes I brush my teeth in record time before hopping around in the walk-in closet to put my Superman socks on, a hairbrush handle in my mouth as I look through Thor's things for a belt. I so _happened_ to grab the pair of jeans that are a little big too big for me. Sure, they hang down and show off Thor's bright red boxers that I miraculously fit in, but I'd rather not be some gangster ass kid who trips over his own pant legs.

"Thor, man, what is this? You're gay!"

I frown, turning around to see a skinny but strong looking man with short blonde hair and a matching mustache and small goatee, looking into the closet at me brushing my hair while I dig around for a shirt.

"_Excuse you_," I say in my best bitch tone.

"_Good gods_! I am _so_ sorry!" the man says, nearly falling backwards. "I thought you—you're very—um—Thor! Thor, man, I could use some help in here!"

Thor appears behind him, pushing him out of the way to get into the closet. "He mistook you for a woman, didn't he?" he asks, taking the brush to continue brushing for me.

I frown, nodding lightly so I don't get stabbed with the brush. "I know I'm small, and my hair is to my shoulders, but _damn_, I am a pretty flat-chested woman."

"No, Fandral is just an ass. Don't pay attention to him."

"Hey!" the blonde says, still in the doorway.

I turn to smirk at him a bit. "Run back home, pretty boy."

"Oh, _I'm_ the pretty boy?!"

"_Fandral_," Thor growls. "Just go get the _others_."

Fandral huffs and disappears.

"Still not really looking forward to meeting your friends," I mutter.

"The others are better," Thor says. "Hogun doesn't show emotions very often, Volstagg eats a lot, and Sif is more badass than any of them."

They all show up a moment later, and Thor sets down the brush before wrapping an arm around my waist and turning me around. "My friends, this is Loki," he says with a smile.

I peg everyone right away. Hogun is an Asian that gives me a cool, somewhat dark nod as he stands with legs apart and arms crossed tight. Volstagg is about as tall as Thor and…well, overweight, with red-ish-orange hair all over his body like a fucking shag rug, and he gives a bright smile that all but blinds me. And Sif I know. I've never met her, but I've seen plenty of pictures. She's giving me a warm smile that doesn't actually seem all that warm, her black her long to the middle of her back and her build about the same a Amora's. She honestly looks nothing like her mother, though. I wonder if she knows that I all but live with her mom…

I nod politely back, because hell no am I going to talk before they do.

"Good gods, speak!" Thor booms, shooing everyone out of the closet and more into the bedroom so that we can all look at each other better. "Sif, what do _you_ say?"

Sif smiles, putting a hand on her hip and tilting her head back slightly as she regards me. Somehow she still manages to look manlier than every single person here in a silver turtleneck, tight fitting black jeans, and shiny manicured nails. "I think he's perfect for you," she says.

"_Details_, Sif!"

"Wait, wait," I say, holding a hand up. "How about you two talk about those things with_out_ me present."

"Ah, a voice of _assurance_!" Volstagg booms. "I approve, my friend!"

Thor grins, turning to Hogun. "At least a word, 'Gun. Honestly, you're like a rock."

"I prefer to be called _marble_," Hogun says in a voice just as deep as I assumed it'd be.

Sif chuckles. "Rocks for _brains_ too, I see," she says, knocking lightly against his head. "Marble _is_ a rock, stupid."

He looks over at her with just his eyes, giving her the tiniest of smirks. "Just testing you."

She rolls his eyes, pushing him away. "Dick."

"Part of me, yes."

I can't help but giggle. It's funny enough for that. And of course I just get _stared_ at, because yeah, guys aren't exactly _supposed_ to giggle.

"Ohh, he's so _cute_!" Sif exclaims, stepping forward to muss up my hair.

"Good lord," I mutter, pressing closer to Thor as he pushes Sif's hands away. "I'm not _that_ small."

"Smaller than all of _us_!" Fandral says brightly, giving me a perfect smile. "In any case, I agree with Volstagg in the sense that I approve!"

"Brilliant!" Volstagg booms. "Now, Thor, about your fridge…"

Thor rolls his eyes. "Oh, get out of here, all of you. There's leftover steak on the bottom shelf."

They shuffle out happily, Sif mussing up my hair again as she goes out last. Thor and I follow, and Thor closes the door to the bedroom behind them with us still inside, looking down at me. "Well, those are my friends. How much do you hate them?"

I purse my lips. "Hogun is funny, but I'm betting that something about his past taught him to keep his emotions inside. Probably his father, but you never know. Volstagg isn't exactly my type, but nothing I can't handle. Seems optimistic enough. Sif, though…good lord, where do I get muscles like that? She could take all of you on with her eyes closed! I like her enough. Not entirely my type either, but probably my favorite simply because she's not an ass and because I know her as Amora's daughter. Anyway, Fandral I could do without. Bit stuck-up if you ask me, and he seems like the type of person that has to look absolutely perfect all the time. Very straight, though. Playboy." I nod, looking up at Thor. "There. That's how much I hate them."

Thor gives a sort of _not bad_ face. "You'll be able to put up with them, then, at the very least. Good enough, I suppose. I'll warn you every time they're coming from now on—or when I _know_ they're coming—so you can head out to Amora's or something."

"I'd probably just stay," I say. "I don't really like just going over there to bug her unless I have to, since she's been so nice to me after all this time. I should go and get the rest of my things, though… I don't want to wear your shirts when I run out and use them all up, and I don't fit in your pants anyway."

"Well you kind of fit into my basketball shorts."

"And your boxers."

He grins, twisting me around so that our fronts are pressed against each other instead of our sides. "Mmm, yeah, you wearing those right now?"

I smirk at him, looping a finger into my jeans to pull them out a bit and show off my (his) underwear. "Hell yes I am. Want 'em back?"

"You know I do."

He kisses me softly, pressing me up against the wall beside the door. I grip onto his shoulders to push against the wall and lift my legs up to wrap around his waist, one of his hands pushing both of my arms above my head as soon as I'm stable. His tongue delves into my mouth, flicking against the roof and behind my teeth. I give a quiet moan, because yeah, there are people over and even without hardly knowing them they're probably right outside of the door listening in on us.

I suck in on his tongue, grinding into his stomach until he pulls his face away. "Touch me," I breathe, smiling at him in a way that just _begs_.

He lets my hands down and spins around from the wall, dropping down to the floor. "Too bad we have company," I breathe as he unbuttons my pants. "Can't go too far."

"No farther than what you asked for," Thor says with a grin, reaching around until my cock is sticking out of the hole in his boxers and my open zipper. I hiss out a breath as he strokes me, hoping to everything that his friends aren't actually listening through the door.

"Oh lord, maybe we shouldn't do this right now," I croak, thrusting into his hand, my head dropped back. "I don't want to kick them out before their due stay."

"Worst case we lock them out on the balcony." He starts to bend down to put his mouth on me, but I manage to stop that one before it starts.

"No!" I breathe, sitting up and kissing him. "I know I asked, but I really don't want to do this with other people around. I mean, people I don't know. People Amora doesn't know. It's different when my other friends have invited people over, but you're…" I kiss him again, pushing my cock back into my pants. I don't want to say it. I don't want to. I don't. "You're different than them." There. Fine. I said it. Out loud. "I like you more than I like my other friends. They're just a place to stay, but you… I've never stayed this long with somebody before, Thor. I mean, other than Amora. But I mean somebody that I'm sleeping with. And I…I haven't…" I kiss him again, because that one I really don't want to say

Thor gives one of the most genuine smiles I've ever seen on his face before. "Spit it out, Lo'."

I pull back just enough to push up the long sleeve of Thor's shirt that I'm wearing, turning my arm over to show off the underside. "I haven't cut in six days."

Thor stares down at them for a moment before looking back up at me. "Loki," he says quietly, hands slowly putting my pants back together. "You are the most beautiful thing in the entire world." He pulls me up, kissing me softly before swinging the doors open to walk out to the kitchen. "Be good?"

"_My_ being good is not the problem," I say, poking him in his side. "Let me go, I have to pee."

Thor laughs, letting me go so he can go sit at the table with his four friends.

I use the bathroom, and right before I come back around the corner, I realize that they're all talking in hushed tones. Not very hushed, though, because I can hear them just fine:

"He really is quite small," Fandral whispers. "Are you sure that he will stay?"

Thor snorts lightly. "What does his size have to do with anything?"

"Nothing," Hogun says. "His sentences just stuck together. We just want to know if you truly think that he'll stay, Thor."

"He has not promised yet, but I know he will. He would not back out now."

"But Thor, he's…" Sif sighs. "You know what he is. You know what _she _let him be_come_."

I thought that my pained gasp gave me away (both as Sif referring to me as the city whore, but also talking about Amora that way), but it didn't, because Thor gave the same one.

"No he is _not_," the blonde mutters. "It's been three weeks since he's been with anyone else, and the second of those weeks he wasn't even with me. He could have gone around and done any number of men, but he didn't."

"Manipulation?" Volstagg asks around a mouthful of food, probably.

"He wouldn't do that. He is too sweet for that. Besides, I've talked to Amora multitudes of times, and—"

"_Ohhh_, leave my mother _out_ of this. I cannot _stand_ what she has dejected my very own _brother_ to, lying to him about all sorts of—"

I step out from behind the wall, staring at her.

They all go silent, staring back.

"What did you say?" I whisper, my voice coming out broken and cracked.

"It's rude to eavesdrop," Fandral says, trying to change the subject.

I ignore him, stumbling forward until I'm in front of Sif. "_What did you say_?"

"Excuse me?" Yes, she's very good at feigning innocence. But not good enough.

"Amora is your mother," I say, looking closer at her. "Neither of you look anything _like_ me. I'm…I'm your brother…Amora is my… Oh dear lord." I cover my mouth with my hands, holding back vomit. "Amora is my _mother_. You're my _sister_. I have a _family_. I HAVE A FAMILY." I look at Thor. "You _bastard_! How long have you known? How long have you _kept it from me_?! No, fuck you, fuck _all _of you!" I grip my head in my hands, gritting my teeth. "I have to go. I have to go see her." I run towards the door, completely forgetting shoes and everything. I race down the stairs, ignoring the voices of Thor and Sif calling after me.

"She doesn't want you to know, Loki!" "It's a secret!" "She's ashamed, you can't!" "Loki, please, wait!"

"I DON'T CARE!" I scream. I don't. I really don't.

I sprint down the streets, weaving between people and sprinting across streets and nearly getting hit by four different cars.

When I get to her place, completely out of breath, I keep knocking until she opens it up. Amora looks pissed at her intruder of peace until she realizes it's me and that I'm running heavily from breathing and crying.

"Dear everything that's holy," she says, throwing her arms around me for a tight hug before pushing me away to look back into my face. "You don't even have your shoes. What did he _do_ to you?"

I sniff in deeply and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. "He kept a secret from me."

"Oh gods, he's married, isn't he? I knew he was too gentle not to have endured a marriage befo—"

"No, it's not that," I say, pushing her hands off of me. "He kept one of _your_ secrets."

She gives a confused look. "I told him a lot of things, actually. Which one did you find out?"

I can barely get it out. My tears just start back up again, and it's still hard to breathe. "You're…you're my…_I'm the son that died_?"

She takes a step back, taking a deep breath. "He…he told you that?"

"No, I overheard it when he was talking to one of his best friends. My fucking _sister_!"

She all but faints, falling against the frame of the door and eyes glazing over slightly. "You met Sif. You met your sister. She wasn't supposed to find out about you, but a long time ago Skurge let her in to go through some of my things. Oh gods."

I just sort of ignore her ramblings. "We look nothing _like_ you! How the _fuck_ are we your kids?!"

She shakes her head back and forth as I speak, trying to get me to stop talking or something. "No, you do look like me. But you look more like your father. Not Skurge—it was long before Skurge… But you've got my eyes, and she's got my build. And you have my thin face and big eyelashes and horrible habbit of smacking your gum. It's not something you do when others do it…you just always do it. Bet you didn't know that." She smiles warmly.

I'm appalled. "You. Are. _Smiling_ at me? No, fuck you, you don't get to do that right now!" I walk inside, stomping around until I get to the couch. The blankets that are always folded up from when I'm there are someplace else. Wow…she really has faith in Thor. And anyone that Amora likes enough to have real faith in, I myself will have faith in them too. "Tell me why and how. Tell me everything."

She sighs, walking slowly across the room with crossed arms to sit as far away from me on the couch as she can. I know it's not because she doesn't want to be close, though. She's doing it for me.

"I was fourteen when I had Sif," she begins. "You know that story, and you know it didn't go very well. Even for the first two years before I was sixteen and had you it didn't go well. So, when you came along from the same guy as Sif that I had been dating on and off for the last four years, I didn't want that to happen again. Because _he_ certainly didn't want any kids. So I put you into the orphanage you lived in until you were fourteen years old as soon as you were done breast feeding.

"And…I kept tabs on you. I was actually going to be the one to adopt you when you were fifteen, but you ran away before I could. And you know orphanages, they don't go look for runaways if they're ten or older. It actually took me a couple of weeks to realize that you had run, and almost an entire year to find that you had started to sell yourself for a place to stay. You've always been gay, I know that, but I just assumed you stayed in back rooms… Somehow it never crossed my mind. So, as soon as I found out, I revealed myself to you. Just for a place to stay when you couldn't find a guy, and after a while I became the one you came to _to_ find a guy. Working at a bar, I know a lot of men. And…and here we are now."

I open my mouth a few times to try and speak, but it doesn't work all that great for a little while. "But why didn't you _tell_ me?" I finally choke out. "Why didn't you just adopt me before that? As soon as I ran away?"

"Well I couldn't after you ran away because you were no longer _up_ for adoption… Taking you in for a place to stay was the best I could do. And why do you _think_ I didn't tell you? I was _ashamed_ of myself, Loki. I got pregnant twice with the same guy I wasn't married to and couldn't raise either one of them right. Would you have told?"

"I…I…don't know." I drop my head into my hands. "I don't know. If I were in your shoes I wouldn't have either, but if I get reincarnated and have to make the decision, I'll tell. Because this hurts, okay?" I look back up at her and place a hand over my heart. "It hurts like hell right here. And I'm not sure what I should do about it, because I've been lied to my entire life.

"I've always thought about having an older brother who would teach me about girls and the best cologne to wear. But now I don't get any of that because I'm _gay_ and I have a _sister_. I thought about having a sister too, though… One who was younger than me, who I could pick on and then protect when we got older. But I can't do that either because my sister is older than me and I'm _small_. And I've thought about having a dad, but I can't have that either… The only thing I do have is a _mom_ who's been under my nose the entire fucking time, and all she's done is _lied_ to me. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? The orphanage told me you were _dead_. They told me everyone in my family was _dead_."

Amora shakes her head back and forth, tears streaming silently down her cheeks. "No, Loki, please no. I was trying to protect you. I thought I was doing what was right. When I didn't tell you, and when I told Sif to not ever tell you either… We both knew who you were the entire time. She's watched you before, but she kept her promise to stay away from you. She wanted a little brother, and she _hates_ me for all of this, but she thought that it would protect you too. She agreed with me that your life would be better if you just kept on believing that you had simply been rescued by me."

"_Rescued_?" I growl. "You think this is _better_? Finding out twenty-one years later that your family is _alive_ and you could have been with them _the entire time_? How the hell was lying to be _better_?"

"I'm sorry, Loki… I was wrong. I was wrong and I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Is that all you can say? You lied to me after all this time and all you tell me that you're _sorry_? What the hell kind of answer is that?"

She wipes away some of her tears before answering: "The only one I have."

I all but fly across the couch to her, enveloping her in a hug. "Fuck you," I whisper as she mutters how sorry she is over and over into my shoulder. "I love you. Fuck you."

She pulls away a while later, wiping my tears with her thumbs before she wipes her hands down her face to get her own. "I love you," she says, face enveloping into a very motherly smile. I never noticed until now that it's the smile she's always used on me.

I pull her close to me again. "You were just doing what you thought was best. I…I'm sorry I yelled at you."

She breathes a laugh. "I can't exactly blame you. I mean, if I found out all this shit I would have flipped twice as many bitches as you did. You're a good son, Lo'. I'm…glad you were able to find out."

I smile, and I'm about to say something, but the front door bursts open to reveal Sif with Thor behind her. The other three guys are nowhere I can see from here. We all just stare awkwardly at each other, until I finally realize my arms are still around Amor—er, my moms neck and drop them to my lap.

"Did we miss the make up?" Sif asks cautiously, though her eyes are shooting daggers at our mom.

Amora (I can't say mom anymore it's just too weird) and I nod.

"Then we're all good here…?"

Amora grins. "Come say hi to your little brother, Sif. Come in and help us start over."

Sif gives a ghost of smile, coming into the room more and sitting down on the floor in front of the couch. "We've met before," she says with a large smile. "Hi."

"Hi, sis," I say back, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. "I always dreamed about protecting you from boys who wanted to date you, but I guess you're going to have to do that for me, now."

We all laugh, and Thor finally decides that the tension is thin enough that he can come inside. So he does, closing the door behind him and sitting down on the couch beside me. "Amora," he says to her with a nod before he turns to me with a cautious smile.

"Don't say anything," I say, holding a hand up. "I'm sorry for yelling at you and I forgive you for keeping a promise."

The blonde's smile enlarges instantly. "Thank gods. Here, I brought you some things." He swings a backpack I didn't see earlier off of his shoulder and unzips it. "Clean socks since you ran all the way over here in the slush, your Converse so you don't have to do it again, the coat of mine you like wearing, and because Sif wouldn't let us leave right away so you two would have time to hash it out I put some hot chocolate into a thermos because my feet got sore from pacing."

I don't even say thank you. I just throw my arms around his neck and kiss him, trying not to start crying again. I have a family.

Amora chuckles, and while we're still kissing Sif says, "Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg left. They knew it would be awkward if they came in. They send you their best."

"Tell them," I say, pulling my mouth away from Thor's, "that I hope they'll come back soon."

I lean back to keep kissing Thor, but he just pulls me into his lap like a baby and cradles me to him, playing absentmindedly with my hair and letting the other hand drape possessively over my lap, his hand hanging at my hip, as he converses with Amora and Sif.

With my mother and sister.

With my family.


	6. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_One week later…_

I wake up tangled in Thor's sheets so extensively that I can hardly move. I'm pretty sure that's because of the cover wrestling war with Thor in the middle of the night, though. He's a bit of a blanket hog.

And, as I attempt to free myself, there are suddenly a large amount of voices booming from behind me: "SURPRIIIIISE!"

I yelp and land flat on my face before I settle for just rolling over in my predicament to see all of Thor, Amora, Sif, Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they all add.

I groan, dropping my head back onto my pillow. "Nooo," I moan unhappily. "I don't liiike surprises."

"Oh shush, of course you do," Amora says, bustling across the room to untangle me, being sure not to show off to everyone just how naked I actually am. "I also know how much you like presents. You have fifteen minutes to get dressed before we're all bursting in here again." And she's off, exiting the room with the others trailing after her.

Thor stays, though, letting out a booming laugh as I still manage to trip out of the bed and onto the floor. Amora definitely left my ankle tangled up on purpose.

"Good morning," he says, kissing me hard as he swings me up into his arms and makes his way into the closet. We showered when I got back from work (closing time is three on Friday's) and then just went straight to bed, so I don't need one for this morning.

"I can't be_lieve_ you," I mutter, pulling my mouth away from his. "A _birthday party_? I thought we were going to meet your parents. I've been preparing myself all week!"

Thor smiles, setting me down as he plucks out clothes from both of our selections. Mine has gotten bigger since getting a job, yeah, but not by much since I usually use what I get for bills and the like.

"They will arrive in due time."

"Oh _no_," I groan. "This is going to be a disaster. When did you even plan this?"

"The same day you found out who your family really is," Thor says, thrusting a pair of briefs and jeans into my hands. "Remember when you fell asleep in my lap?"

"Obviously I don't remember it if I was asleep."

"Exactly. While conversing with the two women in whispers as not to wake you, the subject of your twenty-second birthday came up. We've been planning this all week."

I groan, stepping into my clothes. "Traitors. I really do hate surprises, and I don't much like people."

"You know, I question that, seeing as though you get along with literally everyone I've ever seen you talk to just fine."

"Only because I am a brilliant actor."

"At least you know everyone who's here." He slips a cotton t-shirt over my head and kisses my forehead. "Now give us a smile."

I growl.

He rolls his eyes. "Why did the pirate cross the ocean?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Why?"

"To get to the other _tide_."

It's so stupid that I have to laugh, and Thor gives me a returning smile. "That's my boy." He pulls me into the bathroom and brushes my hair (I honestly just need to cut it short…it is im_possible_ to keep it tidy for such occasions).

"You'll be fine," Thor says, pressing a kiss to my nose. "They'll like you, remember? And I know Sif had a bit of a hissy fit about 'what mom let you become', but remember what she said about—"

"Yeah, yeah, she knows I've changed now and blah, blah, blah. I heard it myself, Thor, you don't need to repeat it. And the same goes for the guys. That's four, now. If your parents really do like me, then you win, and I'll stop hating myself."

Thor grins, kissing me on the lips. "What I don't understand," he says, "is why you actually put yourself down about it. I mean…you were the one that tried getting us to sleep together. You liked it all, didn't you?"

"It really wasn't so much as liking it as not wanting to be alone," I say with a sigh. "But yes. I did like it. Doesn't mean I'm okay with myself for it, but I did like it."

"Well, now that you're with me you're not with other men, so you can stop hating yourself for that. And you've stopped cutting yourself, which is another you can take off. What else even is there?"

I sigh. "The only problem is the past, now."

"Would you kill me if I quoted Kung Fu Panda?"

"Only if it's that stupid part about the present being called that because it's a gift."

"Then I will hold my tongue."

"No, that's my job!" I lean up and kiss him again, sucking in hard for his tongue.

Right in the middle of it, though, there's a bright flash, so Thor and I leap apart, looking around the closet. Our eyes eventually land on someone standing in the doorway.

"You two are so cute," Darcy says, lowering the old school flash camera from her face. "Jane says hi."

"Who let _you_ in?" Thor asks.

She grins. "Erik did."

"Erik's here too? Who let _him_ in?"

"Sif did, and your parents are here, too. Jane isn't but that's because she's having a girl's day with Lynda."

"Is 'hi' really the only thing she said?"

"Um…she also said she wanted to talk to Loki about getting a new boyfriend so she can move on because she heard from who knows what people that he's really good at getting people together."

Loki snorts. "I called her and one of her best friends a bitch. There is no way that's all she said."

"No, it's true! Well, okay, she might have swore a couple of times about having to talk to 'the guy that stole her boyfriend' for a new boyfriend, but she'll be fine. And I'll be there with her, so maybe you'll get to see her…fun…side."

"You say that like she doesn't have one."

"She's an astronomist, among other things… She just talks about constellations and tornadoes a lot."

Thor groans. "Oh, does she _ever_. Come on, Lo', I can hear our mother's chatting.

"Wait, wait…" I walk over to Darcy and snatch the camera out of her hands.

"Hey," she protests.

"Shush and smile," I say, standing beside her.

We give bright smiles before the flash all but blinds us, so Thor helps us out to the main room of the condo.

"Mother, father!" Thor says as brightly as the flash, embracing them both.

Thor's father, Odin, is about as tall as he is, but with a bit more of a belly. He's got nothing but white hair, and only one eye, with the one that's…not there…covered with a golden eye patch. Thor's mother, Frigga, is tall and thin and is dressed in creams and gold's, with her auburn hair piled high on top of her head and her fingers, wrists, and ears adorned in jewelry.

And here I am gripping onto Thor's bicep because I can't stand up straight since I can't see straight.

"Loki, these are my parents," Thor says with a bright smile. "Mother and father, this is Loki."

I'm just giving one of those little waves and one of those "oh shit I'm meeting my boyfriends parents" kind of smiles, but they're having none of that.

"Oh, it's _so_ wonderful to finally meet you!" Frigga coos, closing the distance between us and giving me a big bear hug. For someone wearing a dress, she sure is strong and forward.

"Yeah!" I say, forcing myself to hug her back. I wonder where everybody else is…I mean, good lord, none of the other guests are anywhere I can see. Did they all cram out on the balcony? Yeah right. "I've been waiting two weeks for this."

She laughs, setting me down again and then stepping back. "More like dreading, I'm sure."

I start to deny it, but she laughs again, this time joined by Odin. "Don't refute it," he says with a small smile. "We saw the look on your face when Frigga went in for that hug."

I give a sheepish grin. "Well, um…did Jane just go in for her own hug?"

"Oh, let's not talk about her," Frigga says, flitting her wrists and jingling her bangles around. "She's out of the picture, now!"

Thor and I give awkward laughs and say, at the same time, "Riiiight…"

But then Thor says something else before they can comment: "Was the drive up pleasant enough this time?"

"Much better," Odin replies. "No traffic whatsoever."

"My turn!" Frigga sing-songs. "Out to the balcony, both of you! The awkward question time is my _favorite_ time…"

I frown. "Isn't everybody else on the balcony?" I ask.

"No, they're probably over at Erik's to give us some space, though I'm not sure," Thor says as we follow Frigga out.

"Oh, does he live close by?"

"Yes, he's in the condo across from us."

When we're all outside, Thor produces three cigarettes (one of them those super fancy kind like Cruela de Ville uses) and a lighter. He hands the fancy one to Frigga and one of the normal ones to me. Odin must not smoke.

"Right, let's begin," Fandral says from her chair. There are three chairs out there, but the one in the middle is more of a couch, so Thor and I take that one. It's only until Frigga speaks that I realize I've absentmindedly leaned against Thor, my head on his shoulder and an arm linked with his. Wow.

"How long have you known our son?" she asks.

"Four weeks today," I reply.

"And have you been with him all those four weeks?"

I blink at her. Yes, Thor did say he was going to tell them about my past…so I guess it's my job to tell her about my present. "I was the first, third, and fourth week, but the second week I was staying with Amor—I mean, on my mom's couch." Oh gods, that is so weird to say out loud.

Frigga nods. "How many past boyfriends have you had?"

I cringe a duck my head. "I…don't know."

"Boyfriends, Lo'," Thor says. "Not just to stay with."

My head snaps back up with a smile. "Just Thor."

She nods, and then Odin takes over: "Thor tells us you only just met your mother…would you mind shedding some light on that?"

I let out the tiniest of sighs. "It's not that I just _met_ her… Last week I found out that she's my mom in general. Sif is my two year older sister, and Amora never stopped beating herself up for raising her the way she did. The first two years were apparently the worst, because when she had me I was put up for adoption. Thing is, nobody ever…took me…" I frown, realizing how sad my life really has been. I'm the classic little abandoned kid with only a "real" education up to eighth grade since I ditched out before the orphanage got me to high school.

"Anyway, I ran away from the adoption center at fourteen and just sort of stumbled my way around for the first couple of years before Amora showed up. She didn't tell me about being my mom, but she said I could stay at her place if I wanted to. Now, most people are taught not to go home with strangers, but when you live on the streets it's generally okay if you do. I had been with…quite a few other guys by then." I groan. "Good lord, I was fif_teen_ when I started… Who would actually sleep with a fifteen year old?"

Thor pulls me closer to him and whispers, "Don't think too hard, love."

I smirk up at him, blowing smoke out from a particularly large drag. "Someone's gotta do it."

That pulls a laugh from his parents, so at least I'm not totally failing at this.

"So she took me in when I was sixteen," I continue, "and I just slept on her couch a lot. But I didn't really just…stay there. That's rude, anyway. So most of the time I would go off and find who I could so I wouldn't be bothering her too much, and I especially looked around when she started dating her current boyfriend, Skurge. After a few months, though, she started…helping? Helped me do better? Whatever. She works at a bar, so she knows all _sorts_ of people, so she would make sure I had 'respectable guys' instead of whoever I found that would take me in. Even took me for checkups at the doctors… I didn't think anything of it. I just went with it. Everything she's ever done for me I've just sort of…went with it. _Anyway_!

"A week ago, when I first met Sif, Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg, I overheard them talking. I already knew that Sif was Amora's daughter, so when I met her it was like, 'oh hey, meeting my best friend's offspring, that's cool'. It was because of Sif that I found out about my—well, _our_ mom. So, well, there you have it… More than you wanted, I'm sure, but that's that. How I met my mother."

I keep my face straight for all of two seconds before bursting into laughter. "Oh gods," I choke out, letting Thor take my cigarette before I drop it. "My life is a television show! This is _great_!"

Odin lets out a chuckle, Frigga giggles, and Thor smirks at me as he drops the ashes of my completely-forgotten-during-my-speech cigarette over the balcony edge.

"One more question," Frigga says as Thor hands me my cigarette back.

"Yeah?" I say with a smile. It takes me a couple more seconds that I'm smiling up at Thor and not Frigga, so I quick look over at her instead. "Sorry, wrong person. What?"

She smiles, catching eyes with her husband. "Never mind. You've already answered it."

"No, no, I'm curious now," I say, holding my cigarette out to Thor so he can have a drag since he finished his. "I want to know."

She smiles warmly. "Later, when it's just us two."

I nod, letter Thor just keep the cancer stick as we rise. "If you insist," I say, opening the door for them to go through.

Back inside, the place is filled with the other guests again.

"So, where did you all go?" I ask the room at large.

"Oh, did we go somewhere?" Fandral says, looking around at the others.

They all give shrugs and words like "I don't remember going anywhere" and are just all around lying little shits. Except Erik. He winks at me.

Apparently most everybody brought something to be eaten (like a potluck), and it doesn't matter that it's breakfast time. There's pizza, salad, cake, and apparently sardines are a favorite of Darcy's, Erik's, and Odin's, but that just sort of makes me wrinkle my nose up.

"Where's Skurge?" I ask Amora when most everybody is done eating and things have settled down more. Darcy and Fandral are playing Twister (courtesy of Erik grabbing it from his place, who's also the one spinning the dial for them), Volstagg and Odin are comparing favorite cigar flavors, and Thor is playing Monopoly with Frigga, Sif, and Hogun (the last two who are apparently dating; it's a good thing Sif can take care of herself, because I would be of no help against the guy).

"Working," she says, giving Darcy a cautious eye.

"She's not going to bite me," I say, nudging her with my elbow.

She breathes a laugh. "I'm just trying to figure her out. I can't tell if she likes you or if she's just outgoing."

"She's playing Twister with the biggest flirt here, mom. She's just outgoing."

Amora gives me a huge smile. "That's the first time you've called me mom to my face, you know."

I give a smile back before looking over at Thor. I'm not really looking _at_ him, though…he just happened to be there when my eyes drifted so I wouldn't have to look at Amora. "I'm trying to call you that in my head, too, but it's proving to be somewhat difficult."

"It's not that hard. I had to spend five years not saying 'your sister' when Sif was brought up."

I purse my lips, looking over at Sif instead of Thor. "How did you do it?" I ask.

"Do what, exactly?"

"You're my mom, shouldn't you have telepathic powers and just know what I'm wondering? You always know what I'm talking about at the bar."

She smirks. "How did I get through keeping it a secret from you after all this time? Lots of hard work, and Skurge helped me with it too after he showed up."

"Good lord, even _he_ knew about it before me? Did _everybody_ know about it?"

She gives a guilty laugh. "Well, out of everyone here, Thor's parents didn't, and neither did Lewis and Selvig…"

"You're seriously calling them by their last names?"

"I've never even talked to either of them before. I've only seen them around because they're friends with Thor who's friends with Sif."

"Speaking of which, did you know Thor before I actually got together with him?"

"Not very well, considering that Sif didn't usually enjoy having anything to do with me. We had spoken once before, but Skurge knew him better since they're in the same profession."

"But you know him better now, of course."

She nods. "And I really did tell him your favorite color, by the way. Not that it would have been very difficult to guess green when it's the color you wear the most."

I smile, looking back over at Thor. "My razors have been sitting idle in their usual pocket for the last two weeks since I haven't been wearing that sweatshirt at all," I say, smiling brightly as Thor and Sif fist bump for whatever board game reason. "Mostly since I've been wearing Thor's trench coats to keep warmer, but you know."

"Why'd you stop, anyway?"

"Guess."

"You are taking this mothers intuition thing much too far."

"Guess anyway."

"Because you love him."

I blush, looking up at her. "I don't think that's why. I mean, it's only been a month. Even for me it takes more than that to fall in love. Besides, there's not enough background for that quite yet…"

"Bullshit, Lo'."

I frown, looking over at Thor. "How so? I don't him well enough."

"No? What's his favorite color?"

"Red," I say, looking up at her again. "But anybody could guess that just by walking into this place, so I don't think it counts as a reason for—"

"What's a place that he's always wanted to visit?"

"Nowhere; he's content right where he is. But I don't understand how that has anything to do with falling in lo—"

"He is the reason that you stopped cutting, correct?"

"Yes, I suppose so, but—"

"What's his least favorite fish?"

"Good lord, why on earth would I know that?"

She just blinks at me.

I sigh, crossing my arms and looking down at the ground. "Clown fish, but I only know because his least favorite movie is Finding Nemo."

"I rest my case."

"Just because I know some of his favorites and least favorites doesn't mean I love him."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Okay so it doesn't, but you still do."

"But _how_?"

"There is no how, Loki. It's not a 'how'. You can just like someone a lot and know as much about them as you would if you loved them. It's a moment that you realize it."

"Well wouldn't I know if I had realized something?"

She gives a rough sigh. "Fine, maybe you don't. But tell me when you do, okay?"

"_If_ I do."

"I think you already do so this conversation is over."

"Argument."

"Discussion."

"Quiet yelling fest."

"Wow," Darcy says from where she's completely tangled up with Fandral. "Could you guys _have_ a louder quiet fest?"

Amora sighs and I groan. "Did you really hear all of that?" I ask.

"Yup," she says. "But I'm pretty sure it was just me."

"Me too, but that's it!" Sif calls, raising a hand up and completely confusing the three people she's playing with.

"And you definitely do, by the way," Darcy adds, somehow managing to lift her camera up and snap a photo of a smiling Fandral. "Tell us when you figure it out too!"

I throw my hands up in the air. "Whatever, I have to pee." I walk into the bathroom connected to the main bedroom, and when I open the door to go back out and socialize I nearly have a heart attack.

"Sorry, sorry," Frigga says politely, steadying me with her hands on my shoulders. "I was going to knock, but then you opened the door."

"No, its okay," I say with a smile. "Is the other bathroom being used as well?"

"Actually, I was looking for you."

My smile falters just a little. "I know you saw that," I say.

"Closet?"

"It's the only place we won't be interrupted, probably."

We don't close the door behind us, but the instant that she crosses her arms I start babbling: "I know I'm not as smart or as pretty as Jane and that my background is the absolute worst in the world. I know you wanted him with someone else and I'm really sorry that it's me because I'm probably the worst for him because I know I'm not good enough for someone like him and I'm sorry if I'm—"

"Loki, Loki, please, calm down," she says, putting her hands on my shoulders again.

I manage to get a few more words trailed out about _disappointed_, but when I really stop talking she drops her hands. "That wasn't at all what I was going to say," she says, leaning respectively against the wall by the door of the closet.

"Oh," I say awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. Would you like to know the question I was going to ask earlier, or not?"

"Oh, yes! Yes I would, thank you."

She smiles. "Good then. I was going to ask if you loved him, but now I see that the more appropriate question is how _long_ have you loved him?"

I groan. I can't help it. "I'm sorry, I just had this conversation with my own mom. I…it's only been a month. I don't think people are _able_ to fall in love in just a month…"

She gives a tiny smirk. "Odin and I did."

I sputter, but before I can say any real words she continues:

"Remember when you accidentally just kept looking at Thor when I was first going to ask this question? And did you notice how many times you reached up to fix his hair, even when your cigarette was forgotten during your speech?"

I blink at her. "I did?"

"And you picked lint pieces off of his shirt."

"I don't remember that either."

She smiles and leans away from the wall and uncrosses her arms. "Tell me when you realize it too."

"Wait, realize what?" I ask as she walks back into the bedroom. "No, wait, don't leave, I'm still confused! Is this about being in love still?"

But yeah, she's gone.

I sigh, leaning back against the wall and looking at all of the clothes on the top shelf. That is one ugly sweater. "You know," I say out loud to myself, "Sometimes I'm not sure if anybody actually likes me or if the whole world is just really good at acting."

"Maybe it's both," a voice says behind me.

I manage not to jump out of my skin but to calmly turn around to see none other than my sister. Gods, that's weird to think about too. Not as bad, though, since I just met her. But considering that I didn't have a family a week ago, it's still pretty weird.

"Hey," I say with a warm smile. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"Thor wanted me to make sure you weren't going to run out and jump off of the balcony after his mother got to you," she says with a laugh. "He would have made sure himself, but he's a bit….tangled up at the moment."

My eyes light up. "Oh gods, he's playing Twister, isn't he?"

I'm already past her by the time she nods, nearly tripping over my stocking feet on the rug as I take about two seconds to take in the scene on the living room floor: Darcy is playing Twister with Thor now (and not tangled up at all, because they're still on opposite sides of the mat), and Odin and Erik are taking turns flicking the dial.

And I just can't help it. I sprint across the floor and literally dive tackle Thor, pulling a surprised yelp from his mouth and a scream from Darcy. Thor and I roll a couple of times before we end up side by side on our backs, him in a silent "what the hell just happened" and my laughing myself to death.

"That was _terrifying_!" Darcy says as she starts to laugh herself. "You didn't even give a battle cry!"

I roll slightly onto Thor so I can look at her. "Of course not. That would have given me away!"

That's when Thor starts to laugh. "Shit, Lo', are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?"

I smirk. "One or two."

He laughs, pulling me up with as he sits up. Darcy sits down beside us, lifting her camera up at us. "Smile!" she says brightly.

We do, and for a moment we're half blind.

"My poor eyes," I mutter, rubbing at them.

"Well, they're beautiful from over here," Thor says.

"You can't even see me."

"So?"

I laugh, leaning against him more so I don't fall over. "Darcy, honestly, you need a new camera."

"Nope," she says. "I just need to turn the flash off."

About a minute later I can see straight again, and it's not until I've reach up that I realize I'm fixing Thor's hair.

I stop with my fingers still weaved into his hair, and he looks down at me with a confused look. "Are you alright?"

My face breaks into a large, warm smile. "Yes," I say, tucking his hair behind his ear. He's not wearing a ponytail today. "Everything is great." Because that's when I realize that, yeah, some people can fall in love in just a month. Sometimes people are just perfect for each other.

I look away, instantly locking eyes with Frigga, who smiles at me before both motioning with her head to her right and trying to get Odin's attention. So I look a little further to Amora, who's giving me a very heavy wink as she nudges at Sif.

Thor leans over to me and whispers into my ear, though, so I snap my attention instantly back to him. "I saw that," he says. "Are you in cahoots with our family members to dive tackle me to death whenever I'm not looking?"

I smile. "Something like that."

He kisses me, though we make sure it's decent enough since both our parents are here. Well, I guess my dad isn't. And honestly Amora doesn't give a shit. So basically it's just for Thor's parents.

"As soon as everybody is gone," Thor whispers into my ear quiet enough that even Darcy doesn't hear, "I'm locking us in our bedroom."

But yeah, Darcy heard anyway. "Ew," she whispers again. "Gay people."

Thor and I stick our tongues out at her at the same time. "You're just jealous," I say.

She gives a somewhat shy smile. "Nope. I've got all sorts of friends at college."

I frown. "You go to college?"

"Well, I didn't go this semester because I had some things to do with Jane and blah, blah, blah. But I finished my freshman year, and I'll be going back next semester."

She's about to say more, but Erik calls her over to help him with who knows what. So it's just Thor and I sitting on the floor, and yes, I find myself picking little lint pieces off of his shirt. "I love you," I whisper.

Thor looks down at me. "What did you say?"

"Olive juice?"

Thor blinks a bit. "Do you really?"

"Well, I don't think I'd like to drink it straight, but—"

"Loki."

"Yes really."

Thor kisses me again, but this time a little less PG.

"Eww!" Darcy calls from the kitchen, but nobody else seems to pay any attention. They just all keep doing whatever it is they're doing.

"Are all of your things here?" he asks in a whisper, holding me against his side. It's bad enough that we're tongue fucking in front of mostly respectable people, but straddling him would just be too much, so I stay on the ground beside him.

"Yeah, I finished moving in back on Monday. My one box of possessions that aren't clothing are in the back bedroom. Why?"

"So you're _completely_ moved in?"

"Yes…"

"Will you promise me now?"

I suck in a shaky breath, because that really was not the question I was ready for. "Yes," I breathe, swinging my legs onto his lap, because fuck decency for five minutes. I'm still sitting on the floor, but my legs are just straight on his lap. "Yes. I promise."

He breaks into a huge smile. "Really? You're really ready to say it?"

"Do you want me to repeat it?"

"A thousand times."

I lean up and press my lips to the shell of his ear. "I promise. Nine-hundred and ninty-nine times I promise again."

And he kisses me again, so we ignore Darcy's "ew's" and everything else in the room for five minutes. Sure, we stay extremely PG for how we usually are, but we certainly don't pay attention to anyone.

"Want to know something?" Thor asks at length.

"Yes," I say.

"Question first. Did you ever find my note in the cigarette box I dropped down to you?"

Thinking about it makes me throw my arms around his neck and kiss him again. "Of course, and I also…" I trail off, deciding that I don't want to know if he had planned ahead of it for it or not. "What about it?"

"I've decided that there's no maybe anymore."

"Are you saying that—"

"I love you too."

And everything is perfect. No more cutting, no more sleeping around, and—

"My parents said they like you," he says, interrupting my thoughts. "They said that the past is the past and then they pulled the Kung Fu Panda quote on me."

I blink at him. "Which means…?"

"That's right. Six people."

And I'm not a whore anymore. So yeah, everything perfect. Even as Darcy is making kissy faces at us from where she's doing dishes with Erik (doing the dishes in someone else's house? Who does that?) and my own mom is looking around the room to make sure no one is looking at her before making very intense humping motions at me…well hey, I grew up this way, didn't I? So yeah. Everything's perfect.

"PRESENT TIIIIME!" Darcy screams a few minutes later, swinging open the pantry door and leaping aside as a few wrapped boxes tumble to the ground.

And as Thor and I stand, I can't help but run that dumbass Kung Fu Panda quote through my head a few times. Maybe they call it the past because it's already long gone passed you, no matter how long or short ago it was. And they call it the future because what the hell kind of a word is that and they just want it to sound all high-tech, like it shouldn't have been invented until what it means anyway.

And of course they call it the present because it's a gift. And that's just so appropriate, isn't it? When I realize that on my birthday? The very day that I'm getting all of these gifts? The day that I realize life really is a present?

That's when I also realize that I'm thinking too hard, though, because I start bursting into laughter, earning looks that suggest I'm insane from every single person in the room.

Yeah, my life is an animated kung fu movie and a television show all rolled into one. Except pandas don't smoke and Ted doesn't cut, so maybe I'll just stick with something simpler…

My life is one…big…addiction. Something nobody wants, but everybody has. And I'm okay with that.

**The End**

* * *

Ending A/N's: Ohmygosh that awkward moment when you're epilogue is like longer than every other chapter in the entire fic. But, yeah, that's the end of that. Told you they were super AU/OOC! Hope it doesn't kill you guys too much… Haha. And "Ted doesn't cut", I mean the Ted from How I Met Your Mother, not the big stuffed bear, obviously XD

Anyway! Love to hear what you guys think, so feel free to leave a review or to message me! Love you all and thank you so much for reading [insert a nine-hundred and ninety-nine plus one hearts here].


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